Roast Station
Tech Archive
185 roasts filed under Tech. Filtered archive, newest first.
Stanford Grads Pocket $11M for Hormone-Tracking Wearable You'll Pay to Use
Noninvasive my ass — meet the latest gadget that costs $369 upfront plus a fat subscription just to maybe tell you what your body already knows.
Porsche Cranks Ego Meter to Fake Shift
MY27 Taycan throws in native NACS, bigger battery standard, and simulated e-shifts like that's peak engineering.
SpaceX Trading Debut Sends Ego Meter Into Orbit
Newly listed rocket maker vaults past Amazon and others in a masterclass of self-delusion.
60% of Consumers Say AI Brand Messaging Is a Turnoff
WordPress VIP survey shows companies treating AI-generated content as an important channel while most people just want it to stop.
Ars Technica's Reader Survey Wants Your Voice Heard
The tech site polls readers on front page changes while already knowing exactly what the analytics say.
Bastrop Hopes SpaceX IPO Means Fortunes, Gets Road Congestion
Residents of the 14,000-person town got a giant complex and now expect trickle-down magic from the historic offering.
Verge Gift Guide Recommends Gadgets Over Fathers' Actual Drinks
Father's Day happening soon and The Verge still thinks dads want $400 tech instead of simple pleasures
Sonos Play Speaker Audit Flags Portable Kitchen Scam
New Play model somehow becomes essential desk item while promising to work inside and outside like it's revolutionary.
AI Startups Audit: The SpaceX IPO Ride Delusion
Startups trying to hitch a public offering wave forget they lack the actual rocket fuel.
The Universal Remote's Impossible Control Fantasy
Companies keep selling one product to rule them all, yet the idea crumbles the moment you add a second TV brand.
Ego Meter Spikes as Under-Pillow Speaker 'Fixes' Sleep
Overthinkers swap uncomfortable earbuds for a flat slab that turns podcasts into proof of superior rest strategy
FBI's Replica Small Town Exists Only to Get Hacked
Alabama building houses a fake town built for simulating cyberattacks that somehow still feels less real than most corporate training videos.
KPMG Pulls AI Report After Hallucinations Wreck It
Consulting giant lets unreliable AI write about AI usage then acts shocked when it lies.
SpaceX Ego Meter: From Far-Out Odds to $2 Trillion Peak
Every new funding round and launch pushes the dial further into delusion territory for the unlikely juggernaut.
Ego Meter Spikes as Govee Pushes $60 Table Lamp
Color-changing rechargeable lamp promises backyard barbeque glory in latest round of gadget self-importance.
Siri's Big Upgrade: 15 Years of Disastrous Bullshit
Even the most patient users get forgiven for expecting basic competence after this long.
Blink's Six-Piece Bundle: Discounted Eyes on Everything
Prime Day marks a five-pack of outdoor cameras plus doorbell down to $167 because apparently one lens wasn't paranoid enough.
Roborock Ego Meter Spikes as Q10 S5 Plus Hits Cut-Price Glory
The robovac's 'impressive' value claim escalates from casual discount to full delusion at $270.