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Satirical newsroom dispatch

Blue Origin's $130B Valuation Gets the Audit It Earned

Bezos' company courts external investors for a fund-raising round that treats launch delays like minor line items.

Jul 8 · Lead roast from the wire.

Blue Origin's $130B Valuation Gets the Audit It Earned

Quick Tech Hits

  1. 01TechSPICY 88

    Xbox Reset: Obsidian Gets Reassigned to Fallout

  2. 02TechSPICY 72

    China Recovered Reusable Rocket, Swears It’s Not Copying SpaceX

  3. 03TechSPICY 85

    NRC swaps nuclear safety for word games

  4. 04TechSPICY 75

    Ollama Ego Meter Spikes as $65M Floods In

Editor’s Pick

CISA Built Its Incident Playbook While the Incident Was Already Happening
TechMEDIUM 62

CISA Built Its Incident Playbook While the Incident Was Already Happening

An agency meant to guard national cybersecurity admitted it was winging the response playbook on the fly after a contractor left passwords exposed on GitHub.

Most Devastating

Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts
TechSPICY 88

Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts

Quietly launched experimental toy turns prompt spam into 'interactive' mini-games no one asked for.

Fresh Burns

Ego Meter Explodes at TechCrunch Disrupt Builders Stage
TechSPICY 76

Ego Meter Explodes at TechCrunch Disrupt Builders Stage

Jul 1

Amazon's Fire Tablet Quietly Swaps 3GB for 4GB
TechMEDIUM 62

Amazon's Fire Tablet Quietly Swaps 3GB for 4GB

Jul 3

Math Lie Attack Shows AI Browsers Are Fragile Garbage
TechSPICY 74

Math Lie Attack Shows AI Browsers Are Fragile Garbage

Jun 30

Tesla Cybercab Audit: No Wheel, No Pedals, No Clue
TechSPICY 75

Tesla Cybercab Audit: No Wheel, No Pedals, No Clue

Jun 30

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