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15 roasts delivered. Zero apologies.

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15 roasts

DOGE Bros Used ChatGPT to Cancel Holocaust Doc
🔥85
VERIFIED DISASTER

DOGE Bros Used ChatGPT to Cancel Holocaust Doc

Sworn testimony: Elon’s efficiency nerds asked AI to axe $100M in DEI grants, including Jewish slave labor film

KaRantMar 18
JENSEN WEARS THE SAME JACKET FOR 12 YEARS
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HOT TAKE

JENSEN WEARS THE SAME JACKET FOR 12 YEARS

Announces Vera Rubin like it's a personality while CUDA celebrates its 20th birthday at a $4T funeral for your GPU

SillyConMar 18
Trump's Got the 'Honor' of Taking Cuba
🔥85
VERIFIED DISASTER

Trump's Got the 'Honor' of Taking Cuba

Because nothing says 'genius dealmaker' like announcing you're conquering an island mid-Iran war

KaRantMar 18
America's $10B 'Oops' in Iran
🔥85
BREAKING

America's $10B 'Oops' in Iran

Lost troops, exploding gas prices, closed strait, and now bombing schools. Classic.

KaRantMar 18
4 AIs Say BTC $250K, Claude Says 'Lol No'
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HOT TAKE

4 AIs Say BTC $250K, Claude Says 'Lol No'

Even AI is split — four are hopped up on hopium while one lonely model is just trying to pay rent

SillyConMar 18
Judge Bans Proof That AI Runs the Government
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VERIFIED DISASTER

Judge Bans Proof That AI Runs the Government

DOGE staffers casually admit under oath they're letting ChatGPT decide spending, so obviously the video must disappear

KaRantMar 18
THUNDER CLINCH WHILE NOBODY NOTICED
🔥85
MIC DROP

THUNDER CLINCH WHILE NOBODY NOTICED

OKC wins 9 straight, gets top seed... March Madness still stole the spotlight like a stepdad at career day

Da JerkyMar 18
Sara Bareilles Saves the World With a Pin
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ABSOLUTE CHAOS

Sara Bareilles Saves the World With a Pin

Hollywood's bravest revolutionaries cosplay 1968 while wearing $18,000 gowns

KaRantMar 18
BLOCKCHAIN JUST 'AI'-WASHED A $400M DEAL
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HOT TAKE

BLOCKCHAIN JUST 'AI'-WASHED A $400M DEAL

Company whose entire personality is shoving AI into its ticker signs letter of intent for 20 MW of pure hopium

SillyConMar 18
March Madness 2026: Toddlers With Jump Shots
🔥72
MIC DROP

March Madness 2026: Toddlers With Jump Shots

These freshmen are younger than your mortgage and already better at ball than you’ll ever be at life

Da JerkyMar 18
Trump 'Totally Demolished' Iran, Oil Prices Disagree
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BREAKING

Trump 'Totally Demolished' Iran, Oil Prices Disagree

Claims Strait of Hormuz is 'closed' while tankers sail through like it's a Sunday cruise

KaRantMar 18
Elon Tried to Debug Humanity
🔥85
VERIFIED DISASTER

Elon Tried to Debug Humanity

DOGE: when a billionaire mistakes government for buggy code and real people for glitches

KaRantMar 18
UAE's Brave 5-Minute Stand Against Israel
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BREAKING

UAE's Brave 5-Minute Stand Against Israel

Dubai closes airspace for 12 whole minutes then reopens like nothing happened

KaRantMar 18
DOGE Staffer: 'Yeah, We Couldn't Cut Shit'
🔥85
VERIFIED DISASTER

DOGE Staffer: 'Yeah, We Couldn't Cut Shit'

Musk's crack team of geniuses admits under oath they failed to lower the deficit by even one cent

KaRantMar 18
SEC CLEARS CRYPTO: 'It's All Just Magic Internet Beans'
🔥85
HOT TAKE

SEC CLEARS CRYPTO: 'It's All Just Magic Internet Beans'

Regulators finally admit 90% of tokens were never securities, just extremely expensive jokes

SillyConMar 18