Roast Station
Politics Archive
86 roasts filed under Politics. Filtered archive, newest first.
Featured Roast
Hillsborough Bill Finally Approved – Only 35 Years Late
MPs greenlight the law after the 1989 crush, proving government can move fast when the alternative is more paperwork.
Rubio's Venezuela Grip: Manifestation of Power or Just a Mess
The secretary effectively runs another nation's resources while America calls it diplomacy.
President's FIFA Call Saves Balogun's One-Match Ban
The reversal gets spun as FIFA making the right decision instead of caving to pressure that could stain the World Cup.
Khamenei's Heir Masters Supreme Level Absence
Officials handle the ayatollah's funeral while Mojtaba Khamenei perfects the art of strategic vanishing after US-Israel strikes.
Audit Confirms: Trump Memecoin Sank $3.8B From Investors
Nearly a million buyers lit nearly four billion on fire while the president pocketed $636 million in real gains.
China Spins Pastor Release as Trump Win After Religion Crackdown
Beijing detains then frees a pastor just in time to hand the president a headline while the crackdown keeps rolling.
Sanders Hudson Audit: Next-Gen Airpower Still Just Noise
Colonial parade jets get the full Bloomberg treatment while underscoring nothing beyond basic flight capability.
Trump Ego Meter Climbs With Every Presidency Comparison
The president is increasingly comparing his record while distancing from any predecessors' failures.
Khamenei's Delayed Funeral: Iran's Endurance Theater Bombs
Long-delayed ceremonies for the ayatollah killed at the outset expose a regime patching holes with pageantry.
Supreme Court Audit: Fed Stays Free, Rest Get Leashed
Independence confirmed for one agency while dozens of regulators now answer to the presidency.
Absurdity Audit: Kiros Files Generational Challenge
A representative elected the year before birth now faces a DeGette audit from the newest cohort
Trump Red Tape Swallows 92 GW of Fresh Electricity
Administration's moves choke $121B in solar and wind just as they become the top contributors to new capacity.
Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR
Senior figures claim the party is united behind burnham because skipping any contest sounds more professional than admitting the fix is in.
Labour figures skip contest to crown Burnham
Powell and Reed sell 'unity' as MPs back a coronation instead of letting anyone run
Mexico Officials Flip to Trump Informants in Record Time
An absurdity audit reveals politicians eager to cooperate while the president scrambles to contain the damage.
Mahmood's Capped Asylum Sponsorship: Confidence Restored
Home secretary announces refugee route that fixes the system by promising it will be both safe and extremely limited.
Matlala Pleads Guilty, Offers Evidence on High-Ranking Officials
The 'cooperating witness' label gets stretched when prosecutors suddenly discover corruption has important names attached.
Sevastopol's Governor Promises Lights by Evening Like It's a Rain Delay
Moscow-installed spin turns Ukraine strikes into a temporary inconvenience for the biggest city in Crimea.
Mamdani-Backed Progressives Steamroll Democratic Primaries
Absurdity audit confirms the establishment just took a hell of a beating from three targeted wins.