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Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall
LEAD STORY
SPICY 88UNHINGED1d ago

Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall

NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax

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FinanceMEDIUM 62· 1d ago

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WorldMEDIUM 62· 1d ago

Iran and Israel's Missile Exchange Ends in Mutual Ego Wins

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TechMEDIUM 61· 1d ago

OpenAI Swaps Its Talk Show Into Emmy Variety Last Minute

A tech company just discovered the nominations-round window opens in three days and decided variety sounded friendlier than whatever TBPN actually is.

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TechSPICY 72· 2d ago

Microsoft's See-Through Green Xbox Is Peak Nostalgia Tax

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Oil Ego Meter Hits 'Demand Destruction' Delusion Peak

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PoliticsMEDIUM 62· 2d ago

Trump Administration Discussing OpenAI Equity for 'American Benefit'

President's plan turns AI success into a government ownership pitch with slick PR wrapping.

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WorldSPICY 72· 3d ago

Absurdity Audit: 100-Day Iran War Still Can't Land a Hit

Ballistic missiles get intercepted while the conflict approaches a grim milestone with zero resolution in sight.

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PoliticsMEDIUM 62· 3d ago

Cockroach Janta Party Swarms Capital in Fresh Protest

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TechMEDIUM 62· 3d ago

Absurdity Audit Flags IBM Breach Coverup Claims

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SportsMEDIUM 58· 3d ago

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Absurdity Audit: NASA Sheltered Astronauts in Dragon Over Leaks
TechSPICY 75· 4d ago

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EntertainmentSPICY 73· 4d ago

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