Ego Meter Spikes as Penn Dreads Award Ceremonies
Actor's decision to never attend another one again turns dread-provoking into a full delusion broadcast.
Fresh Burns
Russia's Flagship Economic Forum Audited Straight Into a Drone Strike
16h ago
Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic
2d ago
Managing Aging Parents' Money Starts With This One Mistake
1d ago
Sullivan Bails West Ham as Historical Allegations Near Publication
1d ago
Quick Hits
- 01PoliticsSPICY 88
Admin Throws Billions at Dying Coal While Building New Plants
- 02WorldSPICY 87
Partial Ceasefire: Code for 'Rockets Still Flying'
- 03TechSPICY 75
IBM's Breach Coverup Gets Roasted in Its Own Audit
- 04EntertainmentSPICY 74
Madonna Orders Phone Ban at Confessions Screening
- 05WorldSPICY 74
Mexico City's Airport Ego Meter Just Hit Critical Delusion
- 06FinanceSPICY 72
NYT's 'Tips' for Managing Aging Parents' Money
Where the guardrails come off.
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Audit Flags Chwalinska's French Open Run as Error
114th-ranked qualifier reaches final only to meet the one teenager who doesn't do upsets.
Absurdity Audit: IBM's Breach Cover-Up Gets Formalized
A former cybersecurity executive accuses the firm of not disclosing incidents across subsidiaries in the mid-2010s.
Collins Ego Meter Spikes at 10,000 Straight Votes
The Maine Republican's unbroken streak becomes a re-election flex that grows more detached with every paragraph.
Putin's 'No Point' Line Decodes as Refusal to Face Zelensky
The Russian president's spin turns a meeting refusal into strategic wisdom while dodging any actual talks.
Burnham's Leadership Audited: Makerfield By-Election or Bust
Greater Manchester mayor files paperwork for a contest that demands he first win a seat most candidates treat like a booby prize.
Absurdity Audit: Hyperscalers Finally Tackle Their Water Mess
Operators swear they're fixing availability and quality while guzzling billions of gallons for AI.
Markets Hail 'Peace' From a Ceasefire With an Asterisk
Treasuries rose as investors spun a conditional ceasefire into Iran optimism, ignoring the clashes still running in the background.
Dow Record Highs Mask Chipmakers' AI Retreat
Broadcom's underwhelming outlook triggers a 'rotation' that Wall Street calls strategy and everyone else calls running for the exits.
LinkedIn Ego Meter Climbs Into Influencer Territory
Celebrities and paid influencers have transformed the career-focused platform into performance art where the job is pretending the job is posting
Court Lets SEC Grab Ill-Gotten Gains Without Victim Loss
Unanimously, the justices reminded corporate wrongdoers that profits from fraud don't need a sad investor to get clawed back.
Qi2 Batteries Sell 25W Wireless Charging as Progress
New certified models magnetically snap to iPhone yet still lose to any decent cable you already own
EU Plots Escape From American Tech, Forgets How Dependence Started
The union outlined a master plan for local semiconductors and cloud computing that somehow ignores two decades of happy outsourcing.