01 · Sports · Aug 16
Bezos Bought a Third of Liverpool and Skipped the Seat
This is insane. Bezos bought a third of Liverpool FC, skipped the Anfield board seat, and sent a deputy to the Kop like that is how you join a soccer club.
Also on the desk
02 · Finance
Tesla Paid Musk $158 Billion at Giga Texas
03 · Politics
Ryan Held Tesla Stock on the House Floor
04 · Finance
Garg Asked for the Zoom-Firing Job Back
05 · Tech
Google Hid the Gemini Sparkle and Kept SynthID
Featured
06 · Celebrities
Wondermind Sold Partnerships That Did Not Exist
Stop it, Wondermind. 2 million on partnerships that did not exist, advertising deals that never showed, and an app that was never built, while you sat on a $95 million valuation with nothing to download.
07 · Tech
Oracle Borrowed $43 Billion Then Cut More Jobs
What are they doing at Oracle? 7 billion on the AI rooms, and then asked managers for another list before September 1 so payroll would shrink when the quarter opened.
Latest
08 · Entertainment
Netflix Used 16 Minutes of Tyra's Three Hours
Are we serious, Netflix? Tyra sat three hours for Reality Check and you used about 16 minutes, then filed to throw the suit as if editing is the same as a verdict.
09 · Sports
Harris Got RFK Land for a Dollar a Year
You cannot be serious, Josh. 1 billion into the roads and the land goes for about a dollar a year.
10 · World
Farage Beat Count Binface Then the Probe Reopened
I'm sorry, Nigel. You quit Clacton, beat Count Binface with 63 percent on a 44 percent turnout, and hours later the £5 million undeclared-gift probe was not suspended anymore.
11 · Sports
Infantino Tried to Sell 20 Percent of the World Cup
Give me a break, Gianni. You tried to sell about 20 percent of a World Cup commercial shop to private money, including Josh Kushner, then killed it when the federations yelled, and Andrew Giuliani said the critics were jealous of a high achiever.
12 · Sports
ESPN Fired Hosts Minutes Before They Went Live
Are you kidding, Bristol? ESPN called Bart Scott minutes before Bart & Carlin and pulled Ryan Clark during a commercial on NFL Live, then wished it could have been in person.
13 · Tech
Dresser Quit OpenAI Eight Months Into the IPO
No way, Sam. Denise Dresser quit as revenue chief after eight months, two days after Brad Lightcap walked, with an $852 billion IPO path still on the table, and you posted Ultrafast like the product was the news.
14 · Tech
Amazon Reinstated Forced Arbitration After 75,000 Echo Claims
What is this, Amazon? You brought back forced arbitration and a class-action ban on August 14 after 75,000 Echo claims made the last version expensive, then said Prime members who object must cancel.
15 · Entertainment
The Academy Built a Side Room Then Called It Inclusion
Come on, Academy. You built a side room, called it inclusion, and two months later Harvey Mason Jr is walking it back because BTS would not enter and said they wanted the music heard as music.
16 · Politics
Trump Media Sold Early Access to Official Posts
Unbelievable, Donald. Trump Media sold Truth API early access to official posts for $60,000 to $100,000 a month, more than ten buyers already signed on, and The Intercept sued on August 12.
17 · Finance
S&P Chiefs Averaged $22.8 Million Without Musk
This is insane at Paywatch. 9 million and Welltower put Shankh Mitra at $821 million, 312 times the worker.
18 · Tech
Apple Asked for 15 Percent of Web Purchases
You cannot be serious. Apple told a California court it wants 15 percent of purchases that finish on the open web, after admitting the Ninth Circuit's 'necessary costs' would be essentially zero.
19 · Entertainment
Paramount Cleared 68 Countries and Called the States the Problem
Are we serious? Paramount Skydance said 68 countries cleared the Warner Bros Discovery buy, then called twelve state attorneys general the last obstacle to a $111 billion stack.
20 · Entertainment
Netflix Shut Night School Six Weeks After Launch
What are they doing? Netflix closed Night School Studio six weeks after Unhinged launched, a thirty minute horror game you play with your phone, and thanked the talented colleagues on the way out.
21 · World
Tesla Bought Out the Swedish Strike Instead of Signing
This is insane, Elon. Tesla ended Sweden's longest modern strike by buying out every remaining IF Metall member instead of signing the collective agreement that covers most of the country.
22 · Sports
Disney Bought Formula E Streaming for 144 Markets
Come on, Disney. You bought Formula E streaming in 144 markets and called it front row access while the US feed still sits on ESPN Select, which is a second app for the same company.
23 · Tech
Brin Told DeepMind to Go All In on Gemini
Give me a break, Sergey. You told DeepMind to go all in on Gemini while the flagship slipped two months after internal tests said it still lagged on coding.
24 · Finance
DraftKings Poured Hundreds of Millions Into Predictions
Are you kidding, DraftKings. You and FanDuel are pouring two to three hundred million into prediction markets ahead of the NFL season after you finally made the sportsbook print money.
25 · Sports
The FA Moved the Community Shield for The Weeknd
I can't with Wembley. You moved the Community Shield to Cardiff because The Weeknd has the stadium the same day, first time in twenty years the curtain-raiser sits outside England.
26 · Tech
Apple Trained a China Model With Alibaba
No way, Apple. You trained your own China model with Alibaba after years of saying the phone would just borrow someone else's brain, and now you want credit for being first foreign firm approved in Beijing.
27 · Sports
ESPN Hired Creators to Sell Its First Super Bowl
What are we doing at ESPN? You landed the first Super Bowl on your air and the first move is a creator network to tell that story in authentic ways.
28 · Celebrities
Disney Named Iger a Legend the Week He Bought the Lakers
Are they serious at D23? You are handing Bob Iger a Legends medal in Anaheim the same week he bought the Lakers and called it serving fans.
29 · Finance
Boeing Handed Archer Three Businesses for Equity
Unbelievable, Boeing. You handed Archer Aviation three businesses, including Insitu and its two hundred million in drone revenue, and called the stack physical AI like a wrapper changes what the Navy already flew.
30 · Politics
The White House Called the Hormuz Claim a Joke
What is this at the White House? The White House told the Journal the Hormuz territory line was a joke after the man said pretty soon I'll be declaring it, with a chuckle, to a room of cops in Garden City.
31 · Tech
Apple Asked the Court to Make Epic Settle
You've got to be kidding, Apple. You missed the stay, filed the 15 percent ask, and then asked Judge Gonzalez Rogers to force Epic into a settlement conference Epic already refused.
32 · Politics
Congress Held a Hearing to Learn What It Already Passed
Are you kidding? Congress wrote the freakin' bill themselves and then sat on C-SPAN for some 6 hours claiming they didn't know what was in them.
33 · Tech
Kagan Denied Apple Another Stay on Epic
Come on, Cupertino. m.
34 · World
Trump Said He'd Make Hormuz US Territory
Unbelievable. Trump said he'll declare the Strait of Hormuz a US territory, pretty soon, like wet water turns into Ohio if you say it loud enough.
35 · Entertainment
They Canceled the Show to Reboot the Show
I can't. They canceled the show two episodes into season three and then dropped a teaser for the same freakin' title like the funeral was a launch.
36 · Sports
Iger Bought the Lakers and Called It Serving Fans
What are we doing? com Arena was a missing park.
37 · Tech
The Privacy Update Added a Better Way to Be Tracked
Give me a break. They shipped a Privacy Update with a cartoon lock and the tracking still on, default on, hashed, salted, same freakin' graph, and then told you you're in control.
38 · Celebrities
She Directed the Film About How Hard Fame Is
You've got to be kidding. She premiered a movie about wanting the cameras gone and then walked a forty person step and repeat to say she wants one unlocked door.
39 · Culture
Under Armour Put The Rock in the Trade Pile
Are they serious? Under Armour put The Rock in the trade pile after ten years, a logo, and a UFC collab, then called it a cordial decision focused on the core business while they sell the last of him through October.
40 · Finance
The Bank Advertised the Feature the Fine Was For
What is this? The bank got fined for the $35 overdraft trick and three months later the same freakin' fee had a piano and a jingle that said we've got you.
41 · Tech
OpenAI Hid Ultrafast Behind an Invite
No way. OpenAI made its smartest model fourteen times faster and hid it behind an invite, then said they were expanding as capacity grows.
42 · World
The Summit Flew the Panel In to Talk About Flying Less
I'm sorry? They flew four hundred delegates in to talk about flying less and the flying less panel started late because the keynote's second freakin' plane was delayed.
43 · Politics
The PAC Bought an Ad About Not Buying Ads
Please tell me this is a joke. A super PAC spent seven figures on a spot that says money in politics is the problem, and the treasurer booked the slots.
44 · Celebrities
The Authenticity App Charged for Being Real
Stop it. 99 a month and the first freakin' post was a ring light selfie about how ring lights are fake.
45 · Culture
The Wing Is Named for the Guy the Show Is About
I don't believe this. They opened a wing with four foot letters on the facade and the first freakin' show is about men who put their names on buildings, and the wall text thanks the donor for making the conversation possible.
46 · Finance
The Index Fund Moved the Fee to the Asterisk
Come on. 03 and left the skim in the asterisk, then the slide said investors deserve a lower cost.
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