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Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic
LEAD STORY
SPICY 88UNHINGED1d ago

Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic

Revered for their supposed earthly-celestial hotline via multiple genders, these Bugis figures face the formal absurdity review.

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Putin's 'No Point' Line Decodes as Refusal to Face Zelensky
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Putin's 'No Point' Line Decodes as Refusal to Face Zelensky

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Dow Record Highs Mask Chipmakers' AI Retreat

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TechMEDIUM 62· 2d ago

LinkedIn Ego Meter Climbs Into Influencer Territory

Celebrities and paid influencers have transformed the career-focused platform into performance art where the job is pretending the job is posting

Court Lets SEC Grab Ill-Gotten Gains Without Victim Loss
FinanceMEDIUM 62· 2d ago

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Unanimously, the justices reminded corporate wrongdoers that profits from fraud don't need a sad investor to get clawed back.

EU Plots Escape From American Tech, Forgets How Dependence Started
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EU Plots Escape From American Tech, Forgets How Dependence Started

The union outlined a master plan for local semiconductors and cloud computing that somehow ignores two decades of happy outsourcing.

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WorldMEDIUM 62· 3d ago

USDA Detects Flesh-Eating Fly at US-Mexico Border

Officials frame a potential screwworm breach as routine paperwork instead of the nightmare parasite scenario it actually is.

Amazon Search Now Shows Products That Don't Exist
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Amazon Search Now Shows Products That Don't Exist

AI images let you browse fantasy clothing and home goods while the real catalog stays empty

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FinanceMEDIUM 62· 3d ago

Morgan Stanley Flags Warsh Debut as 'Key Risk' for FX

Because one new Fed chair's first meeting 'potentially' ends consensus carry trades.

Instagram Alerts Victims After AI Chatbot Hands Accounts to Hackers
TechMEDIUM 62· 3d ago

Instagram Alerts Victims After AI Chatbot Hands Accounts to Hackers

Meta claims the AI-powered fix worked, yet hackers appeared to drain accounts anyway and Instagram is now 'notifying' everyone involved.

Venezuela Opens Electricity Sector After State Meltdown
WorldMEDIUM 62· 4d ago

Venezuela Opens Electricity Sector After State Meltdown

Fifteen years of government power control ends with a quiet auction for private concessions, framed as progress.

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PoliticsMEDIUM 62· 4d ago

Ego Meter Spikes as Grants Face Loyalty Test

Administration proposal lets officials block grants that skip cheering for Trump’s agenda