TechCrunch Battlefield 200: Apply Now to Lose Quietly
Applications close May 27 for the startup visibility that mostly means your rejection gets archived with the others.
Fresh Burns
Quick Hits
- 01TechSPICY 88
Toyota Calls PHEV Charging Stats 'Encouraging'
- 02CultureSPICY 74
Costco Skate Session Hits New Delusion Levels
- 03PoliticsSPICY 72
Absurdity Audit: Rubio Flashes White House Card at Modi
- 04EntertainmentSPICY 72
De Niro Swears Taxi Driver Never Became a Classic
- 05EntertainmentSPICY 75
Mubi Pays Up for 'Coward' After Cannes Ovation Scam
- 06CultureSPICY 74
Auction Houses Choreographed A $2.5B Comeback By Moving Goalposts
Where the guardrails come off.
Subscribers get the unfiltered version. Below: free preview from the vault. Go all in at /subscribe.
VULGARSPICY 72Belugas Audit Themselves In The Mirror And Still Fail The Test
VULGARSPICY 75Monopoly Panini Audit: FIFA's Trading World Cup Cash Grab
VULGARSPICY 74Absurdity Audit: Trump's Iran Agreement Gets the Strait, Skips the Rest
UNHINGEDSPICY 88NextEra's Dominion Grab Turns Rising Bills Into AI Fuel
The Roast Shop
Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.
Browse by beat.
Join the list.
You asked for this.
The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.
We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.
More from the wire
All roasts →
Russia's 'Safety Advisory' to Nationals: Subtext Included
After the biggest overnight Ukrainian assaults, Moscow's fresh threats read like corporate crisis comms with extra missiles.
California's RV Crackdown Turns Homelessness Crisis Into Eyesore Theater
Politicians and neighbors declare war on vehicles while the actual problem stays parked.
'Agree in Principle' on Hormuz: Enriched Uranium Stays Put
American and Iranian officials described the terms differently and stressed no deal has been signed
Absurdity Audit: Gunman Approached, Findings Transported
Secret Service review confirms opening fire near Pennsylvania Avenue remains a high-risk strategy
Ferrari AI Audit: Superfans Still Mostly Imaginary
Scuderia partners with IBM to create superfans and somehow redefines the same old experience with extra dashboards.
Mubi Bankrolls Refn's Maniac Cop for Neon Slow-Mo
Full financing plus wide release promises the cop slasher gets stretched into three acts of traffic lights and regret.
Neon's Seventh Palme Streak Turns Cannes Into a One-Shop Stop
Cristian Mungiu’s Fjord keeps the distributor's consecutive run alive while everyone else pretends the fix isn't in.
Russian Satellites Orbit a RadarSat in Polite Menace Mode
The 'not common for typical missions' line tries to dress up four birds playing bumper cars with Ukrainian support hardware.
Wall Street Cheers Hormuz Impasse Like It's a Win
PR teams spin three months of fighting as 'constructive talks' over uranium stockpile and transit fees
Ebola Risk Audit Flags Very High Congo Alert
Agency confirms regional threat raised while global health danger remains conveniently low on the scale.
CAA Moebius Audit Clears Ten Graduating Storytellers
Agency greenlights safe student shorts for the annual showcase with zero unexpected findings
Treasury Rates Hit 2007 Levels: Audit Flags Total Nonsense
Long-term treasury yields just flashed pre-crisis numbers, turning every financial model into a guessing game about danger versus opportunity.