Ego Meter Hits Boiling Point Over Open Schools
Officials in Britain insist classrooms without air-conditioning can handle record temperatures while teachers and parents watch the delusion climb.
Fresh Burns
Toy Story 5’s Spectacular Audit: Record by Default
1d ago
Hank Hill's Eternal Youth Scam Exposed at Annecy Screening
16h ago
Ebola Ego Meter: France's First Case Starts at 'No Big Deal'
16h ago
Ego Meter Crashes U.S.-Iran Talks in Record Time
3d ago
Quick Hits
- 01CelebritiesSPICY 88
Divorce Finalized, Birthday Love Still on Payroll
- 02TechSPICY 75
Anthropic’s Claude Tag Now Lives in Your Slack Forever
- 03TechSPICY 72
Tech Companies Blame AI for Layoffs They Planned Anyway
- 04CultureSPICY 72
Audit: Early Land Animals Skipped The Tadpole Bullshit
- 05WorldSPICY 88
Iran MOU Audit: Breathing Room or Slow-Motion Stab
- 06TechSPICY 88
Satellite Rescue Already a Success Because They Bothered Trying
Where the guardrails come off.
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Ego Meter Spikes as Asian Stocks Chase Diplomatic Gains
Oil retreated on optimism about US-Iran progress while benchmarks pretend tech drops are just temporary offsets.
Qatar Clears Ras Laffan Blast: Exports Still Golden
Absurdity audit reveals the explosion at the industrial complex somehow left liquefied gas shipments completely unimpacted.
Australia's Underground Cocaine Stockpile Fails Basic Audit
Police find 2.7 tonnes hidden on a western Sydney property, proving billion-dollar plans still need decent hiding spots.
Trump's Iran Weapons Promise Audited: Honesty Guaranteed
Formal review finds zero evidence Iran will agree to major inspections, just presidential optimism on paperwork.
Absurdity Audit: Coal Plants Bag Investments While Violating Regulations
Three repeat offenders keep cash flowing despite racking up environmental citations like parking tickets
Dua Lipa Drops Chanel Wedding Dress Pics After the Real Nuptials
The three-day Palermo celebration gets its own PR moment, because one set of vows clearly wasn't enough content.
Iran's Hormuz Closure Gets Formal Audit
Oil continued through the chokepoint while contrasting narratives from Washington and Tehran failed basic reality checks.
Xperia 1 VIII Audit Exposes Sony's Zoom Retreat
Four generations of continuous optical zoom axed for an aesthetic tweak that still won't reach normal buyers
Iran's Delegation Treats Summit Photo Like a Contagion
Bloomberg reports the briefest possible appearance before the exit, turning 'participate' into performance art.
Afghan Women Pivot to Businesses When Education Vanishes
Thousands launch entrepreneurship because secondary education and real jobs are now off-limits under the rules
Egg Oversupply Tanks Wholesale Prices, Farmers Eat It
Producers locked into contracts while consumers get zero benefits from the crash.
Absurdity Audit: Hormuz 'Closure' Flops Before Switzerland Talks
Tehran's bold claim over Israeli attacks in Lebanon gets shredded by US military reality check.