Arsenal Victory Parade Audit: Streets of Delayed Payoff
Hundreds of thousands of fans celebrate a Premier League title that took 22 years to arrive.
Fresh Burns
Valve Turned Their Controller Into a One-Man Cover Band
3d ago
Meta's AI Pendant Escalates Neck-Based Paranoia
3d ago
Grifters, Cynics, True Believers: Vaccine History's Endless Family Feud
2d ago
Absurdity Audit: 10k Attorneys Stage Striking Departure From Agencies
2d ago
Quick Hits
- 01PoliticsSPICY 75
Trump's Iran Standoff Audit Flags Total Backing Failure
- 02TechSPICY 74
Borderlands Creator Drags Pixel Watch From the Deep
- 03SportsSPICY 73
Giants Announce Beckham Signing to 'Boost' WR Room
- 04FinanceMEDIUM 62
Oil Ego Meter Climbs on Fragile US-Iran Prospects
- 05PoliticsSPICY 75
Trump Hands Coal Ash Monitoring to States
- 06PoliticsSPICY 75
Trump's $10B IRS Suit Crawls Back From the Grave
Where the guardrails come off.
Subscribers get the unfiltered version. Below: free preview from the vault. Go all in at /subscribe.
The Roast Shop
Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.
Browse by beat.
Join the list.
You asked for this.
The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.
We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.
More from the wire
All roasts →
Alphabet to Raise $80B Selling Stock for AI Buildout
Google's parent just discovered that trillion-dollar valuations still need fresh capital when the future costs this much.
Florida's First-of-Its-Kind Lawsuit Audits ChatGPT's Influence
A university shooting gets the official blame treatment while everyone pretends AI pulled the trigger.
Israel's Evacuation Order Is Military PR for 'Clear the Block'
Iran and Israel trade threats while everyone pretends 'retaliatory' still means something precise.
Joby Demoed Its Electric Aircraft Over Manhattan—Seats Still Empty
Start-ups and the administration pitch helicopter replacements that look futuristic until regulators demand actual proof they won't crash.
Blumhouse-Atomic Ego Meter Climbs to Industry Savior Mode
Horror vets frame their latest obsession as a generational reset while the meter ticks toward full Disney delusion.
Art TVs Get 'Notable' Discounting While Staying Stupid Expensive
Woot spins Hisense CanvasTV and Samsung Frame as your new favorites at 40% off, because nothing exposes corporate bullshit like TVs priced like actual paintings.
Italy's Audit Flags West Concerts as Security Risks
Authorities treat prior cancellations as proof that new shows will fail the safety test.
AI Wave Drags Dot-Com Relics Back to the Forefront
Dell, Lenovo and Nokia ride unrelenting artificial demand while calling it innovation.
Valve's Controller Performing Mario While Ignoring Actual Problems
PR calls the rumble motor a concert; reality says it's still a half-baked input device dodging its own launch failures
One-Quarter of Non-Iranian Tankers Trapped in Iran War Slip Free
Big Oil calls a slow trickle through a war zone 'progress' while the rest sit there hoping not to get shelled.
Judge Slaps Trump's $1.8B Fund With a Temporary Transfer Freeze
Administration claims it's all above board while the court holds the cash hostage until June arguments.
Gold Rallies on Trump's 'Final' Iran Determination
Markets treat another vague ceasefire tweet like a five-alarm fire drill.