Skip to content
LIVE
JUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Closed-Door Greenland NegotiationsJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Musk's Delayed OpenAI Suit Gets Unanimously TorchedJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Trump's Taiwan Freeze Hands Beijing Easy WinsJUST IN — Disney's Face Scan Audit: Magic Kingdom Meets Surveillance StateJUST IN — Google's AI Spam Audit: Now Banning Your Sneaky Bullshit TricksJUST IN — DOJ's Terrorism Hack: Mexicans Are the New Terrorists?JUST IN — Ego Meter: University Squad Dives into Maldives Cave for Eternal GloryJUST IN — Devil Wears Prada 2 Ego Meter Hits Runway StratosphereJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Closed-Door Greenland NegotiationsJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Musk's Delayed OpenAI Suit Gets Unanimously TorchedJUST IN — Absurdity Audit: Trump's Taiwan Freeze Hands Beijing Easy WinsJUST IN — Disney's Face Scan Audit: Magic Kingdom Meets Surveillance StateJUST IN — Google's AI Spam Audit: Now Banning Your Sneaky Bullshit TricksJUST IN — DOJ's Terrorism Hack: Mexicans Are the New Terrorists?JUST IN — Ego Meter: University Squad Dives into Maldives Cave for Eternal GloryJUST IN — Devil Wears Prada 2 Ego Meter Hits Runway Stratosphere
Absurdity Audit: Closed-Door Greenland Negotiations
LEAD STORY
SPICY 74VULGAR1d ago

Absurdity Audit: Closed-Door Greenland Negotiations

U.S. demands major role while Greenlandic officials scramble to defuse the president's seizure threats with zero leverage.

UNHINGED VAULT·Premium-tier roasts

Where the guardrails come off.

Subscribers get the unfiltered version. Below: free preview from the vault. Go all in at /subscribe.

Newsletter · Weekly

Join the list.
You asked for this.

The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.

 

We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.

More from the wire

All roasts →
Easter Miracle: Kid's Autism Win Becomes Celeb Holiday
CelebritiesMEDIUM 62· Apr 8

Easter Miracle: Kid's Autism Win Becomes Celeb Holiday

Abby De La Rosa turns diagnosis anniversary into Instagram gold—because why not?

Bleacher Report's PSG-LFC 'Highlights': Code for Insanity?
SportsSPICY 72· Apr 8

Bleacher Report's PSG-LFC 'Highlights': Code for Insanity?

Timestamps, numbers, chaos—sports media's fever dream or just Tuesday?

TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea
TechSPICY 78· Apr 7

TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea

Seven murders confessed, eighth TBD—entertainment news hits peak absurdity.

UConn's Title Threesome: Big Game Bangers or Bracket Bullies?
SportsSPICY 72· Apr 7

UConn's Title Threesome: Big Game Bangers or Bracket Bullies?

Huskies eye third ring in four years—opponents left wondering if they packed enough therapy sessions.

Zendaya's Movie Mouthpiece Drops Bombshell, Internet Loses It
CelebritiesMEDIUM 68· Apr 7

Zendaya's Movie Mouthpiece Drops Bombshell, Internet Loses It

A fictional character's confession has real people raging—because that's how brains work now?

Paris Hilton's Mini-Me Easter: Twinning Toddlers & Oprah Bags
CelebritiesMEDIUM 58· Apr 7

Paris Hilton's Mini-Me Easter: Twinning Toddlers & Oprah Bags

Celeb news peaks at 'cutesie crew' photos and $34 farm-wife frocks—humanity's real heroes strike again

BBC Homepage: The News Buffet Black Hole
SportsSPICY 78· Apr 6

BBC Homepage: The News Buffet Black Hole

Sports! Climate! Innovation! It's all here... until your eyes glaze over in category overload.

UConn's Big-Game Cheat Code: Title III Loading
SportsSPICY 78· Apr 6

UConn's Big-Game Cheat Code: Title III Loading

In a tournament built on chaos, these guys treat Final Fours like Tuesday practices. Who's stopping the machine?

Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit
TechSPICY 78· Apr 6

Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit

Khloe, Blake & Gwen turn Easter, Passover, Eid and Nowruz into Instagram's ultimate mashup fail

Sora: OpenAI's AI Video Fling Ends in Ghost Town
TechSPICY 76· Apr 6

Sora: OpenAI's AI Video Fling Ends in Ghost Town

Viral hit that spooked Hollywood shutters after months of tumbleweeds—AI hype meets reality check.

USA TODAY: The News Equivalent of Elevator Muzak
SportsSPICY 75· Apr 6

USA TODAY: The News Equivalent of Elevator Muzak

Award-winning everything: sports, stocks, cat videos – zero flavor, infinite filler.

UConn's Big-Game Bonanza: March Snoozefest?
SportsSPICY 75· Apr 6

UConn's Big-Game Bonanza: March Snoozefest?

Huskies chase third title in four years like it's just another Tuesday scrimmage.