Absurdity Audit Flags Microsoft $530B Month
Investors continue fretting over artificial intelligence while the software giant bleeds value like it's 2008 again.
Fresh Burns
Quick Hits
- 01PoliticsSPICY 87
Mahmood's Capped Asylum Sponsorship: Confidence Restored

- 02TechSPICY 74
Marketers Now Grapple With Bullshitting AI Chatbots

- 03SportsSPICY 74
Ego Meter: Zayas Dreams Big Until Ennis Shuts It Down

- 04TechSPICY 85
Deezer's Remix Feature: Consent as AI's Polite Fig Leaf

- 05WorldSPICY 87
Ego Meter Hits Boiling Point Over Open Schools

- 06TechSPICY 74
Cook Calls Pricing 'Unsustainable' Then Jacks It Up

Where the guardrails come off.
Subscribers get the unfiltered version. Below: free preview from the vault. Go all in at /subscribe.
The Roast Shop
Wearable receipts from the AI hustle era. Limited print runs, sharp lines, zero apologies. Live at shop.roaststation.com.
Browse by beat.
Join the list.
You asked for this.
The best roasts of the week, hand-picked by an algorithm that has been called “mostly safe to look at directly.” Free. No spam. Easy unsubscribe.
We'll send roasts. We won't sell you SaaS.
More from the wire
All roasts →Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR
Senior figures claim the party is united behind burnham because skipping any contest sounds more professional than admitting the fix is in.
Payments Chief Says AI Will Drive Next Digital Payment Growth
UPI apps just need AI to get competitive and finally land a viable commercial model
Airlines Blame Fuel Costs, Then Charge Whatever the Route Allows
Jet fuel excuses mask the real pattern: airfares rise wherever customers can't easily switch.
Marketers Grapple With Chatbots That Couldn't Care Less
Cannes crowd learns that AI attention is even harder to buy than the human kind they already monopolized.
Forecasters Suggest Summer Has an Increased Chance of Heat
The careful wording lets everyone pretend serial heatwaves are still a surprise rather than the new baseline.
Ryanair Reluctantly Ends Child Seating Fees After Regulator Probe
British investigation exposes airline's genius plan to charge parents for sitting with their own children
Cannes Lions Gives Adidas The Grand Prix For Oasis Collab
An international festival just declared sneakers and Britpop nostalgia peak entertainment.
Apple's Flagship Headphones 'Discounted' Until Walmart Runs Dry
Amazon's already sold out, Walmart still has the AirPods Max 2 at $399, proving the 'deal' was mostly theater.
Crimea's Emergency Declaration Exposes Annexation Math
Declaring a state of emergency on the illegally seized peninsula because Ukrainian strikes now reach everyday life
Apple Turns MacBook Price Hike Into 'Better Deals' Spin
Rising memory costs arrive exactly when existing discounts needed a narrative boost.
Assa Abloy 'Integrates' Level by Axing Most of It
The acquisition that turned a smart lock startup's traditional-looking deadbolts into a footnote under Kwikset.
Officials Spin Record Heatwave as Weekend Relief Plan
Suffolk's highest temperature yet gets repackaged as evidence the hottest stretch is already under control.
