Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall
NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax
Fresh Burns
Quick Hits
- 01TechSPICY 73
Apple's watchOS 27: Siri AI Edition, Same Old Delays

- 02CultureSPICY 88
Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic

- 03FinanceSPICY 74
OPEC's Oil Production Hike Gets Audited Into Oblivion

- 04FinanceSPICY 88
Managing Aging Parents' Money Starts With This One Mistake

- 05FinanceSPICY 74
War With Iran 'Buoyed' Exports? Commerce Dept's April Math

- 06SportsSPICY 88
Sullivan Bails West Ham as Historical Allegations Near Publication

Where the guardrails come off.
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