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Latest satire drops, fully indexable with canonical article links.
USA TODAY's Dino-Leather to Death-Giggle Carousel
T-Rex handbags, funeral hysterics, and colon cancer—news feeds gone gloriously off the rails.
Divorce-to-Dream-Home in 14 Days Flat
Jessi Draper's 'new beginnings' speedrun makes Usain Bolt look like he's jogging in molasses.
Britney's Insta Family Pic: Wholesome or PR Plot Twist?
Pop icon dusts off 2008 throwback with sons—because nothing says 'reunion' like filtered nostalgia.
Google News Serves War with Weather
Algorithms think 'Iran conflict nearing end' pairs perfectly with your 5-day forecast—um, what?
GOP's 'Path' to End Shutdown: More Hurdles Than a Bad Gym Class
Leaders unveil roadmap that's basically a treadmill to nowhere—hold on, is this Congress or Cirque du Soleil?
Artemis II: Moon Flyby, 52 Years Late
NASA flings four astronauts lunar-ward for first time since sideburns ruled. Progress or procrastination?
Skull-Vibes on Sale: Tech's Lamest 'Trending' News
Bone conduction headphones hit 'lowest price in months'—because that's what keeps the world spinning, apparently.
Techmeme Serves IRGC Rants & Big Tech Cyber Doomscroll
Iranian threats crash the party with DHS drama – because nothing says 'tech news' like global beef and unpaid cyber bills.
Gen Z Lines Up for Payphones, Hates Calls Anyway
USA Today's tech roundup: Nostalgia queues, dead desktops, and endless headphone deals in retail's price apocalypse.
Hubby's Secret Online Alter Ego Sparks Security Circus
Double life exposed: from private hobby to front-page fiasco, with national security in the crosshairs
USA Today: KitKat Heists to Moon Menaces
Stolen candy trackers, kidnapped hacks, gas gouge, lunar leaps—news or fever dream?
CNN's 'Breaking News': The Infinite Scroll of Meh
Trending story? It's just the homepage. Hold on, that's the whole plot?
Newsweek: In-Depth Analysis or Infinite Scroll?
Promising breaking news alerts like it's 1999, but delivering the same outrage bait everyone's already doomscrolling.
Sci-Fi Solo Act Legs Past Franchise Fizzle: 'Only' 32% Drop!
Hollywood hails a non-sequel survivor like it's the second coming of Oppenheimer. Hold up, is mediocrity the new blockbuster?
UConn Kid's 35-Foot Buzzer Beater Defies Physics
Freshman launches Hail Mary with 0.4 seconds left—because why settle for a layup when sorcery works?
Big Tech's AI Debt Party: Trillions for Glitchy Ghosts
Borrowing like broke uncles at a casino, chasing chatbots that crash mid-sentence.
Tech's Triple Whammy: Screen Nannies, Rocket Bets, Pricier Pixels
UK slaps kid screen limits while SpaceX memes explode and Sony jacks up PS5—priorities, people?
Savannah's Today Tears: Expert Cracks the Code
Why'd Guthrie bare her soul to Kotb? A 'media expert' has theories wilder than a soap opera script.
Tech News: Groundhog Day for Gadgets
Same phones, laptops, and hype—every site, every day. Wake us when it's actually new.
WTO's Digital Trade Rules: Consensus? Nah, Potluck Style
World traders finally agree on rules—by ditching everyone who disagrees. Peak bureaucracy hack.
Tiger Woods: Fairway King, Freeway Flipper
Golf legend crashes harder off the course than his divorce settlement—out of jail already.
Craig Melvin's Mom-Nap Fury: Bitcoin Bait or TV Stunt?
TMZ ransom notes and crypto tips? Morning TV just scripted its own bad thriller.
Viral Dog Escape Saga: Total AI Fabric-A-Thon
Seven kidnapped pups Houdini their way home? Nope, just pixels punking the internet.
USA Today's Tech Section Is Just Best Buy's Newsletter
Breaking: journalism discovered a 12% discount on JBL earbuds. We have a developing situation.