Roast Station
Tech Archive
185 roasts filed under Tech. Filtered archive, newest first.
Featured Roast
China Recovered Reusable Rocket, Swears It’s Not Copying SpaceX
PR spin says they admire the work; reality shows they just replicated the whole damn playbook.
Nintendo’s Talking Flower Just Got Cheaper, Ego Meter Spiking
Another Mario character shilling positive affirmation while your wallet takes the real hit.
CISA Built Its Incident Playbook While the Incident Was Already Happening
An agency meant to guard national cybersecurity admitted it was winging the response playbook on the fly after a contractor left passwords exposed on GitHub.
Xbox's 'Ecosystem Growth' Is PR for Microsoft Disaster
The Stepback newsletter calls it essential industry insight, but it's just Microsoft spinning failure with corporate euphemisms.
Alibaba Reportedly Calls Claude High-Risk to Guard Its Own Code
Nothing screams confidence like labeling a rival AI tool 'high-risk software' before your employees get any ideas.
Absurdity Audit: SpaceX Millenary Milestone Buries Startup Rocket Hopes
Dedicated launches pile up while one company's Electron dreams stay grounded in endless paperwork.
Amazon's Fire Tablet Quietly Swaps 3GB for 4GB
An Absurdity Audit reveals the 2023 model still trails every budget-minded rival by years.
Godox C100 Audit: Transparent Screen Solves Problem No One Had
Point-and-shoot renaissance meets transparent LCD that turns viewfinding into performance art for influencers.
Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts
Quietly launched experimental toy turns prompt spam into 'interactive' mini-games no one asked for.
Google's AI Buildout Just Slurped 37% More Electricity
The balancing act on emissions is really just code for 'we'll clean it up later while the grid melts now.'
Absurdity Audit: Measuring AI's Economic Reshaping
Conflicting numbers reveal job losses already underway while other stats show growth, proving precision is optional.
SpaceX Phone Prototype Vanishes in Post-IPO Audit
Musk labels the handset-like device report utterly false, right after investors got the tour.
Bending Spoons IPOs at $18B by Minimizing Luck
Co-founders rebrand their company's habit of buying beloved internet brands on life support as elite risk management.
Ego Meter Explodes at TechCrunch Disrupt Builders Stage
Founders queue up for practical strategies that mostly involve convincing themselves the next pivot will save everything.
Amazon Fires Sideloading Blame at Malware
New Fire Stick OS quietly kills third-party launchers while executives hide behind piracy excuses.
Math Lie Attack Shows AI Browsers Are Fragile Garbage
Telling an LLM 2 + 2 = 5 is enough to make it follow forbidden instructions without breaking a sweat.
Tesla Cybercab Audit: No Wheel, No Pedals, No Clue
Years-long robotaxi promises get a pedal-free Austin test that still can't deliver anything but excuses.
Samsung's Wide Foldable Audit: Same Tricks, Wider Cases
Leaked images of the next Galaxy generation show Samsung still betting on foldables nobody needs.
High-Intensity AI Adopters Swear Headcount Is Rising
Entry-level jobs up 12% at these companies, countering all that AI-will-kill-juniors talk with the usual selective stats.