Choose Wisely
PICK YOUR PAIN THRESHOLD
All plans include a questionable sense of humor.
MonthlyAnnualSAVE 20%
🆓
Free
A taste of the chaos
$0/forever
- ✓PG-13 roasts
- ✓Limited archive (30 days)
- ✓Basic newsletter
- ✓Ads supported
- ✕Explicit content
- ✕Early access
- ✕Full archive
- ✕Custom roasts
MOST POPULAR
🔒 Early Adopter Price Lock
🔥
Vulgar
For connoisseurs of chaos
$4.99/mo
- ✓Everything in Free
- ✓Explicit, unfiltered content
- ✓Ad-free experience
- ✓Early access (2h before public)
- ✓Full archive access
- ✓Full newsletters
- ✓20% off products
- ✕Custom roasts
🔒 Early Adopter Price Lock
☢️
Unhinged
Maximum devastation
$9.99/mo
- ✓Everything in Vulgar
- ✓Custom roasts (1/month)
- ✓Member vault (hardest burns)
- ✓Exclusive unhinged series
- ✓Earliest access (4h)
- ✓Max product discounts (30%)
- ✓Diss tracks (when launched)
- ✓Priority everything
FAQ
Can I cancel anytime?
Yes. One click. No penalties. No guilt trip. You keep access until the end of your billing period.
Do I need a subscription to read roasts?
Nope. Free-tier users get access to PG-13 content. The good stuff (explicit, unhinged, vulgar) requires a paid tier.
What's the Early Adopter Price Lock?
Subscribe now and your price is locked forever — even when we raise prices later. Cancel breaks the lock.
How do refunds work?
Monthly: no refunds for current period. Annual: prorated refunds within 30 days of renewal. Email us.
What payment methods do you accept?
All major credit/debit cards via Stripe. Your payment data is handled entirely by Stripe — we never see your full card number.
🔒 Stripe Verified✕ Cancel anytime🚫 No hidden fees🛡️ Your data stays yours
See our Subscription Terms for full details.