The Highlight Reels

The best roasts we've published.
Ranked by sharpness.

Each list aggregates the top-scoring roasts from a given period. Severity, body depth, and editorial weight all factor in. Updated automatically as new pieces ship.

All-Time Top 10

Ranked by editorial score

01
Finance
88
War Fallout 'Favors' Home Shoppers Like a Shark Favors Swimmers
AP News decodes economic Armageddon as 'trends' while your mortgage dreams drown in Iranian fallout — PR spin so thick you need a gas mask.
FinanceMay 14
02
World
88
Ego Meter Cracks: Americans Demand Ebola VIP Lane in Kenya
Hundreds protest an exclusively American quarantine facility as political egos hit critical mass.
WorldJun 10
03
Culture
88
60 Minutes Calls Chaos a 'Cage Full of Tigers'
Surprise pick of a journalist-filmmaker to lead the famously combative newsroom starts with zero calm and maximum mess.
CultureJun 7
04
Tech
88
OpenAI IPOs While Altman's Eye-Scanning Verification Fails
The company reportedly can't generate revenue, so it's time to downsize the eyeball scanners.
TechJun 8
05
Culture
88
Grifters, Cynics, True Believers: Vaccine History's Endless Family Feud
New book maps opponents across centuries like a reunion nobody RSVP'd to, exposing the same recycled excuses repackaged as deep thought.
CultureMay 31
06
Finance
88
Managing Aging Parents' Money Starts With This One Mistake
NYT drops five tips plus the classic 'avoid' warning like a checklist will save you from the actual chaos.
FinanceJun 6
07
Tech
88
Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall
NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax
TechJun 8
08
Tech
89
FBI's Replica Small Town Exists Only to Get Hacked
Alabama building houses a fake town built for simulating cyberattacks that somehow still feels less real than most corporate training videos.
TechJun 13
09
Politics
88
FISA Expires Tonight, Spying Certified Till 2027
Section 702 goes through the motions of death while the surveillance state just keeps the receipts.
PoliticsJun 13
10
Tech
88
Valve Turned Their Controller Into a One-Man Cover Band
Because nothing screams innovation like a Steam device performing Mario while the actual hardware issues sit unaddressed.
TechMay 30

Score weights: severity (60%) · body depth (30%) · thumbnail presence (15%) · tier multiplier (Unhinged 1.25× / Vulgar 1.1× / Free 1.0×). No views, likes, or vanity metrics — pure editorial signal.