Year in Review
The best roasts of
2026.
162 roasts went out in 2026. Below: the top 25, ranked by editorial weight (severity × depth × thumbnail × tier). The sharpest takes, in descending order.
- 01finance·SPICY 88·UNHINGED
War Fallout 'Favors' Home Shoppers Like a Shark Favors Swimmers
AP News decodes economic Armageddon as 'trends' while your mortgage dreams drown in Iranian fallout — PR spin so thick you need a gas mask.
- 02world·SPICY 78·VULGAR
Saudi & UAE's Secret Iran BBQ: US Guarantees Now Toilet Paper
Gulf royals, tired of America's limp security guarantees, decide to grapple with Iran the old-fashioned way: uninvited airstrikes.
- 03politics·SPICY 78·VULGAR
DOJ's Terrorism Hack: Mexicans Are the New Terrorists?
Justice Department instructs prosecutors to slap terrorism charges on Mexican officials for drug shit. Because nothing says 'War on Drugs' like rebranding cartels as al-Qaeda cosplayers.
- 04politics·SPICY 78·VULGAR
Streeting's Ego Meter Explodes: Health Sec Quits for King Dreams
Resignation letter drops amid leadership challenge whispers—because nothing screams 'stable genius' like ditching the health crisis for a Starmer smackdown.
- 05tech·SPICY 78·VULGAR
Google's AI Spam Audit: Now Banning Your Sneaky Bullshit Tricks
In a shock twist, the search giant labels 'manipulation' attempts as spam—because nothing screams innovation like policing your own dumpster fire.
- 06sports·SPICY 82
March Madness: Where Your Bracket Goes to Die and Your Boss Pretends Not to Notice
64 teams, 10 seconds of confidence, and a lifetime of bracket regret.
- 07tech·SPICY 78
TMZ's 'Disturbing' Scoop: Celeb Dog Zepa Kicks the Kennel
Apologies to fans for the heartbreak—because a pet passing trumps actual scandals every time.
- 08celebrities·SPICY 78
CNN Trending: Doomsday Karaoke Night?
Oil crashes parties, El Niño floods basements, taxes haunt dreams—CNN's hits list has it all, minus the chill pill.
- 09tech·SPICY 78
TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea
Seven murders confessed, eighth TBD—entertainment news hits peak absurdity.
- 10tech·SPICY 78
Iran Rescue: Action Flick or Actual Fiasco?
Dozens of planes, sneaky tricks, and a war deadline—because real life needed more Michael Bay.
- 11finance·SPICY 78
Elon's Circus: Fires Everywhere, Investors Clap
Tesla tanks, X flops, SpaceX explodes—yet Wall Street's still swiping right on Musk.
- 12sports·SPICY 78
BBC Homepage: The News Buffet Black Hole
Sports! Climate! Innovation! It's all here... until your eyes glaze over in category overload.
- 13sports·SPICY 78
UConn's Big-Game Cheat Code: Title III Loading
In a tournament built on chaos, these guys treat Final Fours like Tuesday practices. Who's stopping the machine?
- 14culture·SPICY 78
Tariffs Go Nuclear: Businesses Whine, Get Walloped
Complain about a tickle on imports? Enjoy the full-body economic haymaker instead.
- 15tech·SPICY 78
Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit
Khloe, Blake & Gwen turn Easter, Passover, Eid and Nowruz into Instagram's ultimate mashup fail
- 16politics·SPICY 78
Trump's $1.5T Defense Bonanza Amid Gutting Granny's Groceries
Because nothing screams 'America First' like more missiles and fewer Meals on Wheels.
- 17culture·SPICY 78
7 Interviews, 2 Months, 1 Epic 'No Thanks': Hiring Gone Mad
She crushed every round—then got a rejection that had the internet yelling 'WTF, corporate?'
- 18tech·SPICY 78
Divorce-to-Dream-Home in 14 Days Flat
Jessi Draper's 'new beginnings' speedrun makes Usain Bolt look like he's jogging in molasses.
- 19culture·SPICY 78
Twitch 'E-Puppy' Sleeps in Crate, Fetches Fame
Meow Dalyn's dog life goes viral: emotional freedom via kibble and leashes. Humanity's bark is worse than its bite.
- 20culture·SPICY 78
Fox News: Rage-Bait Buffet, Always Open
Breaking: Outrage over eggs, migrants, and celebs who hate America. Pull up a stool for the daily screamfest.
- 21tech·SPICY 78
Gen Z Lines Up for Payphones, Hates Calls Anyway
USA Today's tech roundup: Nostalgia queues, dead desktops, and endless headphone deals in retail's price apocalypse.
- 22tech·SPICY 78
Hubby's Secret Online Alter Ego Sparks Security Circus
Double life exposed: from private hobby to front-page fiasco, with national security in the crosshairs
- 23tech·SPICY 78
USA Today: KitKat Heists to Moon Menaces
Stolen candy trackers, kidnapped hacks, gas gouge, lunar leaps—news or fever dream?
- 24tech·SPICY 78
Big Tech's AI Debt Party: Trillions for Glitchy Ghosts
Borrowing like broke uncles at a casino, chasing chatbots that crash mid-sentence.
- 25tech·SPICY 78
Tech's Triple Whammy: Screen Nannies, Rocket Bets, Pricier Pixels
UK slaps kid screen limits while SpaceX memes explode and Sony jacks up PS5—priorities, people?
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