Monthly Highlights
The best roasts of
April 2026.
72 roasts went out in April 2026. Below: the top 25, ranked by editorial weight (severity × depth × thumbnail × tier). The sharpest takes, in descending order.
- 01tech·SPICY 78
TMZ's 'Disturbing' Scoop: Celeb Dog Zepa Kicks the Kennel
Apologies to fans for the heartbreak—because a pet passing trumps actual scandals every time.
- 02celebrities·SPICY 78
CNN Trending: Doomsday Karaoke Night?
Oil crashes parties, El Niño floods basements, taxes haunt dreams—CNN's hits list has it all, minus the chill pill.
- 03tech·SPICY 78
TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea
Seven murders confessed, eighth TBD—entertainment news hits peak absurdity.
- 04tech·SPICY 78
Iran Rescue: Action Flick or Actual Fiasco?
Dozens of planes, sneaky tricks, and a war deadline—because real life needed more Michael Bay.
- 05finance·SPICY 78
Elon's Circus: Fires Everywhere, Investors Clap
Tesla tanks, X flops, SpaceX explodes—yet Wall Street's still swiping right on Musk.
- 06sports·SPICY 78
BBC Homepage: The News Buffet Black Hole
Sports! Climate! Innovation! It's all here... until your eyes glaze over in category overload.
- 07sports·SPICY 78
UConn's Big-Game Cheat Code: Title III Loading
In a tournament built on chaos, these guys treat Final Fours like Tuesday practices. Who's stopping the machine?
- 08culture·SPICY 78
Tariffs Go Nuclear: Businesses Whine, Get Walloped
Complain about a tickle on imports? Enjoy the full-body economic haymaker instead.
- 09tech·SPICY 78
Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit
Khloe, Blake & Gwen turn Easter, Passover, Eid and Nowruz into Instagram's ultimate mashup fail
- 10politics·SPICY 78
Trump's $1.5T Defense Bonanza Amid Gutting Granny's Groceries
Because nothing screams 'America First' like more missiles and fewer Meals on Wheels.
- 11culture·SPICY 78
7 Interviews, 2 Months, 1 Epic 'No Thanks': Hiring Gone Mad
She crushed every round—then got a rejection that had the internet yelling 'WTF, corporate?'
- 12tech·SPICY 78
Divorce-to-Dream-Home in 14 Days Flat
Jessi Draper's 'new beginnings' speedrun makes Usain Bolt look like he's jogging in molasses.
- 13culture·SPICY 78
Twitch 'E-Puppy' Sleeps in Crate, Fetches Fame
Meow Dalyn's dog life goes viral: emotional freedom via kibble and leashes. Humanity's bark is worse than its bite.
- 14culture·SPICY 78
Fox News: Rage-Bait Buffet, Always Open
Breaking: Outrage over eggs, migrants, and celebs who hate America. Pull up a stool for the daily screamfest.
- 15tech·SPICY 78
Gen Z Lines Up for Payphones, Hates Calls Anyway
USA Today's tech roundup: Nostalgia queues, dead desktops, and endless headphone deals in retail's price apocalypse.
- 16tech·SPICY 78
Hubby's Secret Online Alter Ego Sparks Security Circus
Double life exposed: from private hobby to front-page fiasco, with national security in the crosshairs
- 17tech·SPICY 78
USA Today: KitKat Heists to Moon Menaces
Stolen candy trackers, kidnapped hacks, gas gouge, lunar leaps—news or fever dream?
- 18tech·SPICY 76
Sora: OpenAI's AI Video Fling Ends in Ghost Town
Viral hit that spooked Hollywood shutters after months of tumbleweeds—AI hype meets reality check.
- 19sports·SPICY 75
USA TODAY: The News Equivalent of Elevator Muzak
Award-winning everything: sports, stocks, cat videos – zero flavor, infinite filler.
- 20sports·SPICY 75
UConn's Big-Game Bonanza: March Snoozefest?
Huskies chase third title in four years like it's just another Tuesday scrimmage.
- 21sports·SPICY 75
Kid Conquers Motocross Whoops, Experts Lose Their Minds
Cole Davies nails the bumps like a boss—because apparently that's peak athletic genius now.
- 22finance·SPICY 78
Wall Street Wagers War Ends Before Close
Trump tweets 'peace soon,' stocks spike—because nothing screams 'mission accomplished' like ignoring the rubble.
- 23culture·SPICY 72
Social Media Today: Infinite Scroll of Self-Obsession
A site dropping 'news' on platforms obsessed with their own news. Peak digital hall of mirrors.
- 24sports·SPICY 72
BBC Football Page: Eternal Loop of Booted Banality
Scores we saw live, rumors thinner than a defender's alibi—welcome to football's daily rerun.
- 25sports·SPICY 72
Bleacher Report's PSG-LFC 'Highlights': Code for Insanity?
Timestamps, numbers, chaos—sports media's fever dream or just Tuesday?
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