Monthly Highlights
The best roasts of
March 2026.
80 roasts went out in March 2026. Below: the top 25, ranked by editorial weight (severity × depth × thumbnail × tier). The sharpest takes, in descending order.
- 01sports·SPICY 82
March Madness: Where Your Bracket Goes to Die and Your Boss Pretends Not to Notice
64 teams, 10 seconds of confidence, and a lifetime of bracket regret.
- 02tech·SPICY 78
Big Tech's AI Debt Party: Trillions for Glitchy Ghosts
Borrowing like broke uncles at a casino, chasing chatbots that crash mid-sentence.
- 03tech·SPICY 78
Tech's Triple Whammy: Screen Nannies, Rocket Bets, Pricier Pixels
UK slaps kid screen limits while SpaceX memes explode and Sony jacks up PS5—priorities, people?
- 04sports·SPICY 78
Pyfer KOs Izzy After 'Almost Offed Myself' Bombshell
From suicidal spiral to savage knockout: UFC's fastest therapy session ever?
- 05politics·SPICY 78
Lloyds' Car Loan Circus: 30K Sue for £66M Lemon Fix
Bank sells dodgy drives like candy—now the repo repo is real and it's massive.
- 06culture·SPICY 78
NDTV's Viral Black Hole Swallows Sanity
Breaking: Mildly weird clip trends. Cue the apocalypse sirens.
- 07tech·SPICY 78
Tiger Woods: Fairway King, Freeway Flipper
Golf legend crashes harder off the course than his divorce settlement—out of jail already.
- 08sports·SPICY 78
Bachelor Bends Rules for TikTok Trainwreck, Eats Backfire
Reality TV's golden rule? Nah, we'll make an exception for drama magnets – what could go wrong?
- 09celebrities·SPICY 78
HELLO! Mag: Celeb Drama on Infinite Loop
Relationships hotter than lava, breakups colder than your ex's texts—endless celeb soap for the masses
- 10sports·SPICY 78
Clavicular Looksmaxxer Cuffed in Florida
Viral bone-bro's attractiveness quest crashes into reality's mugshot filter.
- 11tech·SPICY 78
Viral Dog Escape Saga: Total AI Fabric-A-Thon
Seven kidnapped pups Houdini their way home? Nope, just pixels punking the internet.
- 12culture·SPICY 78
DHS Funded Like a Half-Assed DIY Kit
Senate greenlights bureaucracy bucks but ghosts immigration enforcement—shutdown limbo hits peak absurdity
- 13tech·SPICY 81
The Social Network Where Failure Is Rebranded as a Journey
Where layoffs become plot twists and $40M raises are actually about resilience.
- 14politics·SPICY 85·VULGAR
DOGE Bros Used ChatGPT to Cancel Holocaust Doc
Sworn testimony: Elon’s efficiency nerds asked AI to axe $100M in DEI grants, including Jewish slave labor film
- 15world·SPICY 85·VULGAR
America's $10B 'Oops' in Iran
Lost troops, exploding gas prices, closed strait, and now bombing schools. Classic.
- 16entertainment·SPICY 79
Netflix Giveth and Netflix Taketh Away (Before You Finish Season 1)
They spent $200M building your favorite show and 48 hours deciding to kill it.
- 17sports·SPICY 75
The Hindu's Infinite News Vortex Sucks You In
Agri-business to asteroid chases—one site's wild bid to categorize the chaos of existence.
- 18culture·SPICY 75
March Madness: Brackets Enter Witness Protection
NCAA tourneys ignite bracketpocalypse – because ruining your weekend with fairy tales is peak entertainment
- 19tech·SPICY 75
Craig Melvin's Mom-Nap Fury: Bitcoin Bait or TV Stunt?
TMZ ransom notes and crypto tips? Morning TV just scripted its own bad thriller.
- 20tech·SPICY 74
USA Today's Tech Section Is Just Best Buy's Newsletter
Breaking: journalism discovered a 12% discount on JBL earbuds. We have a developing situation.
- 21tech·SPICY 74
Tech Giants May Face Consequences, Experts Unsure What Those Are
Two jury verdicts walk into a bar. Section 230 has never been more nervous.
- 22sports·SPICY 74
Buffalo Loses To Boston, Sun Rises In East
Yahoo Sports uploaded 'highlights' from a Sabres loss. Bold use of the word highlights.
- 23tech·SPICY 74
Iran Claims F/A-18 Kill; Jet Files Flight Plan Home
Nothing says 'direct hit' like the thing you hit flying away and finishing its shift.
- 24tech·SPICY 85·VULGAR
JENSEN WEARS THE SAME JACKET FOR 12 YEARS
Announces Vera Rubin like it's a personality while CUDA celebrates its 20th birthday at a $4T funeral for your GPU
- 25politics·SPICY 85·VULGAR
Judge Bans Proof That AI Runs the Government
DOGE staffers casually admit under oath they're letting ChatGPT decide spending, so obviously the video must disappear
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