Let's just pause for a second. Take a breath. And appreciate what USA Today's technology desk — staffed, presumably, by human beings with journalism degrees — decided was the most pressing tech news of the day.
AirTags. Under sixty dollars. At Amazon.
Hold on. Hold on. That's the story? That's the lede? Somewhere out there, a reporter opened their laptop, cracked their knuckles, and thought: "Today, I'm going to break the AirTag price story." And an editor looked at it and said, "Yeah. Run it."
This is not tech journalism. This is a browser extension that found a coupon code and somehow got a byline.
The section reads like what happens when you give a Best Buy circular a Wordpress login and just... walk away. Five best earbuds with up to 51% off? That's not a headline, that's the subject line of an email I've been unsubscribing from since 2019. "What Apple devices are cheaper at Amazon's Big Spring Sale?" I don't know, Karen, maybe check Amazon? Maybe that's the move here?
Here's the genuinely clever part though — and stay with me — USA Today has accidentally invented a new genre of journalism. It's not reporting. It's not analysis. It's affiliate link content wearing a press badge. And the thing is, it works. People click it. People want to know if AirTags are under sixty dollars. We are all complicit in this. Every one of us who has ever Googled "best deal on headphones" has contributed to the collapse of the fourth estate. We did this. We asked for this.
The saddest part? Somewhere in that same building, there's probably a tech journalist who wanted to write about AI regulation, semiconductor supply chains, or why your smart fridge is legally allowed to sell your data to a Lithuanian hedge fund. But no. The metrics said people click on earbuds. So earbuds it is.
Ricky Gervais once said the best thing about the internet is that everyone has a voice. The worst thing about the internet is that everyone has a voice. USA Today's tech section is proof that sometimes that voice just wants to tell you Samsung earbuds are 40% off at Best Buy, and honestly, maybe that's fine. Maybe that's what we deserve.
The TVs, the laptops, the AirTags — it's all there. Every deal. Every discount. Not a single idea.
Tech journalism, everyone. Please, someone save it. Preferably at up to 51% off.
