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Monthly Highlights

The best roasts of
June 2026.

130 roasts went out in June 2026. Below: the top 25, ranked by editorial weight (severity × depth × thumbnail × tier). The sharpest takes, in descending order.

  1. 01
    world·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Ego Meter Cracks: Americans Demand Ebola VIP Lane in Kenya

    Hundreds protest an exclusively American quarantine facility as political egos hit critical mass.

  2. 02
    culture·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    60 Minutes Calls Chaos a 'Cage Full of Tigers'

    Surprise pick of a journalist-filmmaker to lead the famously combative newsroom starts with zero calm and maximum mess.

  3. 03
    tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    OpenAI IPOs While Altman's Eye-Scanning Verification Fails

    The company reportedly can't generate revenue, so it's time to downsize the eyeball scanners.

  4. 04
    finance·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Managing Aging Parents' Money Starts With This One Mistake

    NYT drops five tips plus the classic 'avoid' warning like a checklist will save you from the actual chaos.

  5. 05
    tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Google Hides Gemini 3.5 Upgrade Behind Enterprise Wall

    NotebookLM gets antigravity and fresh Gemini flavor, but only if your company already pays the premium tax

  6. 06
    tech·SPICY 89·UNHINGED

    FBI's Replica Small Town Exists Only to Get Hacked

    Alabama building houses a fake town built for simulating cyberattacks that somehow still feels less real than most corporate training videos.

  7. 07
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    FISA Expires Tonight, Spying Certified Till 2027

    Section 702 goes through the motions of death while the surveillance state just keeps the receipts.

  8. 08
    culture·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Sulawesi Priests Audit: Five Genders, Zero Logic

    Revered for their supposed earthly-celestial hotline via multiple genders, these Bugis figures face the formal absurdity review.

  9. 09
    sports·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Sullivan Bails West Ham as Historical Allegations Near Publication

    Joint chairman steps down after learning serious claims drop soon – PR code for 'lawyers called, I'm gone'

  10. 10
    tech·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Ego Meter Spikes as Under-Pillow Speaker 'Fixes' Sleep

    Overthinkers swap uncomfortable earbuds for a flat slab that turns podcasts into proof of superior rest strategy

  11. 11
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Venezuela Opens Electricity to Private Investment After Total Collapse

    Fifteen years of state control produced blackouts, so now they're offering concessions like it's a generous gift instead of surrender.

  12. 12
    world·SPICY 87·UNHINGED

    Partial Ceasefire: Code for 'Rockets Still Flying'

    Israeli strikes and Hezbollah responses turn Monday's agreement into the world's most optimistic PR release.

  13. 13
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Graham's Trump Glow-Up: Fiercest Critic to Carolina Lapdog

    The senator's relationship with the president dramatically evolved from insults to loyalty just in time for the South Carolina primary.

  14. 14
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Democrats Bank $50M Shot at Cracking Conservative Strongholds

    American Bridge labels red turf 'vulnerable' while history says Republicans own the deed.

  15. 15
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Admin Throws Billions at Dying Coal While Building New Plants

    Absurdity audit reveals the plan to revive a decade-old corpse of an industry is pure denial theater.

  16. 16
    entertainment·SPICY 87·UNHINGED

    Streaming Ego Meter Spikes on Ad-Supported Wins

    Nearly half of subscribers now 'opting' for ads while execs pretend it's a feature not a surrender.

  17. 17
    politics·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Russia's Flagship Economic Forum Audited Straight Into a Drone Strike

    Putin's showcase got overshadowed by Ukrainian attacks while the spreadsheets cried for help.

  18. 18
    entertainment·SPICY 87·UNHINGED

    Ego Meter Spikes as Penn Dreads Award Ceremonies

    Actor's decision to never attend another one again turns dread-provoking into a full delusion broadcast.

  19. 19
    tech·SPICY 85·UNHINGED

    Blink's Six-Piece Bundle: Discounted Eyes on Everything

    Prime Day marks a five-pack of outdoor cameras plus doorbell down to $167 because apparently one lens wasn't paranoid enough.

  20. 20
    celebrities·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Ego Meter Spikes: Kardashian-Hamilton Monaco Makeout

    A three-day support weekend turns into the loudest stealth session in F1 history.

  21. 21
    entertainment·SPICY 88·UNHINGED

    Ego Meter Breaks as Film Chases Consciousness With Pure Psychodrama

    Review clocks each new level of delusion where overreacting passes for art and most people just back away.

  22. 22
    politics·SPICY 75·VULGAR

    Ego Meter: Iran Sides Chasing Victory on Pure Speculation

    A memorandum of understanding emerges while both sides inflate it into historic triumph before ink dries.

  23. 23
    world·SPICY 74·VULGAR

    Mexico City's Airport Ego Meter Just Hit Critical Delusion

    A 100-year-old terminal undergoes a $500 million renovation and officials insist it's enough for the World Cup hordes.

  24. 24
    finance·SPICY 74·VULGAR

    War With Iran 'Buoyed' Exports? Commerce Dept's April Math

    Exports rose in April slightly outpacing imports while conflict magically lifted oil demand, because nothing says growth like geopolitical hellfire.

  25. 25
    world·SPICY 75·VULGAR

    Audit: Iranian Drone Turns $25M Helicopter Into Midair Scrap

    US military learns the hard way that cheap hardware plus dumb luck still beats expensive ego every time.

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