Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
636 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
VCs Half-Kiddingly Confess AI Groupthink Frenzy
Three top investors admit they're already handing Series A checks to 19-year-olds in Francisco because everyone else is doing it.
Trump Jr Posts 'Intimate' Wedding Video No One Asked For
Bettina Anderson and the new husband serve up private ceremony footage that screams damage-control romance.
Trump Hands Coal Ash Monitoring to States
Because nothing fixes toxic leaks like letting the locals negotiate with the polluters.
Trump's $10B IRS Suit Crawls Back From the Grave
Voluntarily dismissed last week, now a judge yanks it open while the Justice Department tried to establish an ally slush fund in the background.
AI Wave Drags Dot-Com Relics Back to the Forefront
Dell, Lenovo and Nokia ride unrelenting artificial demand while calling it innovation.
NATO Slaps 'Recklessness' Label on Drone Apartment Hit
Officials condemn Russian strike on Romanian building like it's a parking ticket, not an escalation.
Judge Slaps Trump's $1.8B Fund With a Temporary Transfer Freeze
Administration claims it's all above board while the court holds the cash hostage until June arguments.
Judge Forces Kennedy Center to Ditch Trump Name in 14 Days
Board's plan to brand the building hits a legal wall while the renovation gets frozen
SEC Proposes To Axe Climate Disclosure Regulation
Auditors confirm companies won't have to disclose significant climate change risks anymore.
DOJ Now Scrutinizing Who Funded Carroll Lawsuits
Because when governmental authority gets annoyed, examining private citizens who antagonized power becomes the new normal.
Groq Begs $650M After Nvidia's $20B Not-Aqui-Hire
Chipmaker ditches hardware for inference while reportedly praying internal cash fixes the mess
One-Quarter of Non-Iranian Tankers Trapped in Iran War Slip Free
Big Oil calls a slow trickle through a war zone 'progress' while the rest sit there hoping not to get shelled.
Gold Rallies on Trump's 'Final' Iran Determination
Markets treat another vague ceasefire tweet like a five-alarm fire drill.
Absurdity Audit: Stocks Soar on War-Ending Speculation
Record highs arrive after three months of conflict because one diplomatic rumor hit the tape.
Motorola Razr Ultra Price Cut Admits Nostalgic Gimmick Status
The 2025 model drops hard because who the hell is dropping $1,500 on a flip phone in 2026
Microsoft Copilot Audit Exposes Speed Claims as Paperwork
A formal review finds the cleaner design mostly rearranges the same promises in a neater font.
Summer House Reunion Audit Exposes Seismic Relationship Chaos
Production scrambled to catch the cast's earthquake-level fallout while Bravo counts the drama revenue.
CFTC Helps Winklevoss Twins Overturn Their Own Win
A watchdog filing to lose is like a ref begging the league to review his own perfect call.