Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
624 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
Iran MOU Audit: Breathing Room or Slow-Motion Stab
Georgetown's Vaez calls it cautious optimism while the memorandum just hands everyone more time to reload.
Luxury Resort Fire Kills Tourist, PR Calls It 'Contained'
Evacuation of 1,700 at Viva Wyndham Dominicus Beach gets sold as a Caribbean success story.
French Startup Scrapping Rocket Name Over Trademark Tantrum
The launch equivalent of renaming your kid because the neighbor already called dibs on it.
Egg Oversupply Tanks Wholesale Prices, Farmers Eat It
Producers locked into contracts while consumers get zero benefits from the crash.
NeNe's Kid Flunks Probation With Drug Arrest Sequel
Atlanta housewives alum's family spins another violation as a 'learning moment' while reality delivers the same result
Nothing Cites RAMageddon to Delay Next CMF Phone
Co-founder Evangelidis blames prices for skipping this year, proving budget phones can pivot faster than excuses evolve.
Hathaway Timed Fertility Struggles for the Third Pregnancy Drop
Painful past details resurfaced right before the Instagram bump confirmation – coincidence or calculated arc completion?
Hue Audits Your Dumb Lights With Wired Wall Modules
New ecosystem addition forces non-smart switches into the fold while claiming it's progress
Lawmakers Float Downsizing Post-Attack Intelligence Role
The Director of National Intelligence is back in the crosshairs, with efficiency as the new euphemism for rolling back a fix born from coordination failures.
Absurdity Audit: Post-Facelift Staycations Hit Luxury Peak
High-end hotels roll out dedicated facilities so clients can heal in secrecy while pretending nothing happened.
Power Rankings Audit Flags One-Game World Cup Favorites
Experts revisit the list after 48 teams played and somehow still call it science.
Hormuz Audit: Stranded Vessels Face Fresh Escape Uncertainty
Shipping companies bet on a quick exit after the deal, only for violence to turn the strait turbulent again.
Hathaway Turns Bump Reveal Into Lyric-Themed PR Theater
Captioned with floating x's and 'Baby, I’m yours' because a normal pregnancy announcement apparently needs branding now.
Vitol's Zambia Pipeline Lock: IMF Says Cut the Exclusive Cord
Emergency arrangement handed one company the fuel tap until September while international watchdogs demand authorities rip it out.
Valve's Steam Controller Reservations Now Come With 2027 Estimates
The good news is you might get your controller before the next console generation; the bad news is that's not actually good news.
Google's Android Verification Timeline: An Absurdity Audit
A new system service rolls out this month, with bigger changes starting in September, because nothing says trust like official confirmation of supported app stores.
Culpo's Chocolate Luggage Is a Travel Essential Now
Cashmere, candles and a shared fragrance turn packing hacks into a Samsonite sales pitch.
YC Demo Day: Ego Meter Hits Record Delusion
TechCrunch rounds up the standout startups whose investors say commanded $175M+ valuations in the hottest batch yet.