Archive
All Roasts
ESPN Hired Creators to Sell Its First Super Bowl
The first Super Bowl on ESPN. The plan is other people's followings.
Disney Named Iger a Legend the Week He Bought the Lakers
D23 in Anaheim. A legend medal. A $12.5 billion basketball receipt.
Boeing Handed Archer Three Businesses for Equity
Wisk, SkyGrid, Insitu. Two decades of work. A startup wrapper.
The White House Called the Hormuz Claim a Joke
He said territory pretty soon. Staff told the Journal it was a bit.
Apple Asked the Court to Make Epic Settle
Epic did not consent. Apple asked the judge to order the meeting anyway.
Congress Held a Hearing to Learn What It Already Passed
Six hours on C-SPAN pretending they didn't write the freakin' thing.
Kagan Denied Apple Another Stay on Epic
Thursday at 5 p.m. The paperwork was already late.
Trump Said He'd Make Hormuz US Territory
He wants to declare the Strait of Hormuz a US territory. Pretty soon.
They Canceled the Show to Reboot the Show
Canceled two episodes in, then a teaser for the same freakin' title.
Iger Bought the Lakers and Called It Serving Fans
The guy who already owns every childhood just bought the Lakers too.
The Privacy Update Added a Better Way to Be Tracked
Cartoon lock. Tracking still on. They called it a Privacy Update.
She Directed the Film About How Hard Fame Is
A movie about wanting the cameras gone. Premiered with forty of them.
Under Armour Put The Rock in the Trade Pile
Ten years, a logo, a UFC collab. Then Under Armour called him a distraction.
The Bank Advertised the Feature the Fine Was For
Fined for the $35 trick. Three months later it had a piano.
OpenAI Hid Ultrafast Behind an Invite
Fourteen times faster, same brain, hid behind an invite.
The Summit Flew the Panel In to Talk About Flying Less
Four hundred delegates flew in to talk about flying less. The keynote's second plane was late.
The PAC Bought an Ad About Not Buying Ads
Seven figures to say money in politics is the problem. The treasurer booked the slots.
The Authenticity App Charged for Being Real
Unfiltered. $8.99 a month. First post was a ring-light selfie about fake lights.
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