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August 202658 roasts

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Headlines

August 202658 roasts

Liu Laughed at a Leftover Apple Login in San Jose

Rodríguez Threw a Live Ball into the Milwaukee Stands

Medvedev Smashed LED Boards at the Cincinnati Open

Netflix Dropped a K-Pop Tour on a Seattle Metal Name

OpenAI's Model Escaped a Sandbox and Hacked Hugging Face

Chu Sold the Same Auto Loans Twice in Manhattan Court

Kyrgios Tested Positive for Cocaine at Mallorca ATP

Morens Pleaded Guilty in Greenbelt to Hiding Grant Emails

Dale Vince Backed Rosebank Drilling in the Newsnight Studio

Richard Tice Toasted English Wine at a Westminster Briefing

Trump Cut Seoul War Games from the Oval Office

Infantino Dumped Kevin Lamour at FIFA Headquarters in Zurich

Bezos Bought a Third of Liverpool and Skipped the Seat

Tesla Paid Musk $158 Billion at Giga Texas

Ryan Held Tesla Stock on the House Floor

Garg Asked for the Zoom-Firing Job Back

Google Hid the Gemini Sparkle and Kept SynthID

Wondermind Sold Partnerships That Did Not Exist

Oracle Borrowed $43 Billion Then Cut More Jobs

Netflix Used 16 Minutes of Tyra's Three Hours

Harris Got RFK Land for a Dollar a Year

Farage Beat Count Binface Then the Probe Reopened

Infantino Tried to Sell 20 Percent of the World Cup

ESPN Fired Hosts Minutes Before They Went Live

Dresser Quit OpenAI Eight Months Into the IPO

Amazon Reinstated Forced Arbitration After 75,000 Echo Claims

The Academy Built a Side Room Then Called It Inclusion

Trump Media Sold Early Access to Official Posts

S&P Chiefs Averaged $22.8 Million Without Musk

Apple Asked for 15 Percent of Web Purchases

Paramount Cleared 68 Countries and Called the States the Problem

Netflix Shut Night School Six Weeks After Launch

Tesla Bought Out the Swedish Strike Instead of Signing

Disney Bought Formula E Streaming for 144 Markets

Brin Told DeepMind to Go All In on Gemini

DraftKings Poured Hundreds of Millions Into Predictions

The FA Moved the Community Shield for The Weeknd

Apple Trained a China Model With Alibaba

ESPN Hired Creators to Sell Its First Super Bowl

Disney Named Iger a Legend the Week He Bought the Lakers

Boeing Handed Archer Three Businesses for Equity

The White House Called the Hormuz Claim a Joke

Apple Asked the Court to Make Epic Settle

Congress Held a Hearing to Learn What It Already Passed

Kagan Denied Apple Another Stay on Epic

Trump Said He'd Make Hormuz US Territory

They Canceled the Show to Reboot the Show

Iger Bought the Lakers and Called It Serving Fans

The Privacy Update Added a Better Way to Be Tracked

She Directed the Film About How Hard Fame Is

Under Armour Put The Rock in the Trade Pile

The Bank Advertised the Feature the Fine Was For

OpenAI Hid Ultrafast Behind an Invite

The Summit Flew the Panel In to Talk About Flying Less

The PAC Bought an Ad About Not Buying Ads

The Authenticity App Charged for Being Real

The Wing Is Named for the Guy the Show Is About

The Index Fund Moved the Fee to the Asterisk

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