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Apple Shuttered Its Unionized Location Over 'Declining Conditions'
The surrounding mall suddenly looked terrible the minute workers unionized, because nothing says coincidence like perfect timing.
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88
AI Agent Runs $100M Fundraise for Its Own Startup
Absurdity audit confirms the agent handled everything, evidently proving enterprises now invest in their own obsolescence.
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73
Ruf Flat-Eight Engine Debuts at Goodwood, Generates Pure Excess
Audit slams the eight-cylinder monster for delivering 1000 hp of unnecessary theater in a world that already has too many.
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Microsoft Audit: AI Spots More Issues, Floods Customers
Patch Tuesday now ships higher volume of security updates because AI can identify potential problems sooner—surely that's progress.
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Ollama Ego Meter Spikes as $65M Floods In
Benchmark-backed tool for developers nearly convinces itself it's still the scrappy open-source hero.
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