Absurdity Audit Report — Docket: Federal Independence
Finding 1: The court affirmed true independence for the Federal Reserve while quietly routing every other regulator through the presidency. The logic is clean on paper and slightly unhinged in practice.
Finding 2: Dozens of federal watchdogs now operate under direct political appointment cycles. Corporate interests get a more predictable target list, which is convenient if your business model includes regulatory whiplash.
Finding 3: The decision treats agency independence like a limited-time offer available only to monetary policy. Everyone else receives the standard political upgrade.
Verdict: One agency kept its insulation, the rest received new management. Efficiency achieved.
