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Variety predictions turn awards ceremonies into a circle jerk of inflated hopes and Netflix power fantasies.
MEMBER CUT — VULGAR tier
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CBS loads Season 28 with a pickleball coach, drag alum, and other specialists whose day jobs shout 'we ran out of ideas for the competition.'
The platform now brings 2-20 minute clips from Variety and friends, because apparently long-form alone isn't awkward enough.
Mariska Hargitay lands the ceremony gig as the first drama performer in 18 years, proving comedy is now too expensive or too smart to touch awards shows.
The PR move screams confidence while quietly admitting the October date was an optimistic fantasy.