RoastssportsMarch Madness 2026: Toddlers With Jump Shots
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March Madness 2026: Toddlers With Jump Shots

These freshmen are younger than your mortgage and already better at ball than you’ll ever be at life

Da Jerky
Roasted by
Mar 18, 2026
Da Jerky
Sports · Sports commentator. Zero chill.
March Madness 2026: Toddlers With Jump Shots
#March Madness#NCAA#NBA draft

What happened: CBS Sports says the 2026 NCAA Tournament features the most stacked freshman class in years — AJ Dybantsa, Cameron Boozer, and Darryn Peterson, all projected lottery picks whose combined age is younger than most mortgages.

These kids just hit puberty and they’re already running pick-and-rolls smoother than your divorce attorney. While you were still getting participation trophies, they’re out here dropping dimes that’ll have NBA GMs frothing. That’s a fumble at the one-yard line of adulthood — they haven’t even grown pubes but they’re about to get paid more than your boss. Screenshot this: 'Combined age younger than your mortgage and twice as valuable.'

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