What happened: Trump announced the US 'totally demolished' Iran's Kharg Island and effectively closed the Strait of Hormuz.
Oh bless him. The man looked at some craters, declared total victory like a kid who just smashed his sister's Lego house, and the markets responded by shrugging so hard oil prices spiked on pure second-hand embarrassment. Iran’s still pumping, tankers are still moving, and the Strait is about as 'closed' as Trump's mouth on a Tuesday. Reality doesn't care about your all-caps tweets, Donald. Even the oil traders are laughing at you, and those bastards laugh at nothing.
