What happened: Elon Musk turned federal bureaucracy into his personal debugging session, treating actual living humans as the bugs to be fixed.
Oh bless him. The man who can't keep Twitter from becoming a Nazi bar thought he'd just waltz into Washington, crack his knuckles and refactor the entire U.S. government like it was legacy COBOL. 'These aren't employees, they're inefficiencies with heartbeats.' Turns out when your entire personality is 'disruptor' and your only tool is a flamethrower, everything starts looking like a server you want to yeet. The richest man alive discovered that democracy has worse legacy code than Windows Vista and reacts by having a public meltdown. Peak billionaire brain: 'Why won't these peasants compile?'
