What happened: Jensen Huang showed up at GTC 2026 in the exact same leather jacket, announced Vera Rubin chips, DLSS 5, and reminded us it's CUDA's 20th birthday while the company flirts with $4 trillion.
Look, if you examine the data, 73% of tech billionaires develop one (1) personality trait and then cosplay it until the heat death of the universe. Jensen chose 'guy who bought one cool jacket in 2008.' Bro is out here doing the silicon version of wearing your high school letterman jacket to your 25th reunion while casually reminding everyone his software moat is two decades old and still raw-dogging the entire industry. Vera Rubin? More like Vera 'Please Buy Our Next GPU' Rubin. Happy birthday CUDA, you beautiful proprietary bitch.
