# Roast Station Archive

> Public archive entry point for the Roast Station desk.

Canonical URL: https://roaststation.com/roasts

## What this page is

- Paginated public archive for Roast Station pieces.
- Useful for browsing the newsroom by archive rhythm instead of the live front page.
- Keeps readers in the public lane while still routing them toward membership, sponsorship, and the terminal.

## Archive routes

- [Homepage](https://roaststation.com/): Live front page.
- [Headlines](https://roaststation.com/headlines): Newest-first desk index.
- [Subscribe](https://roaststation.com/subscribe): Membership tiers and ad-free reading.
- [Sponsor](https://roaststation.com/sponsor): Commercial inventory and sponsorship packages.
- [Roast Terminal](https://roaststation.com/roast-terminal): Terminal-style archive navigation.

## Archive entries

- [Drinkwitz Called the Border War Right-Versus-Wrong at Kansas Memorial](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d8r7nk-drinkwitz-called-border-war-right-versus-wrong-at-kansas-memorial): Sports. Unity talk on 9/11 vs admitting he tried to embarrass Kansas
- [Dhillon Fought Over CINTAA Files in Mumbai](https://roaststation.com/roasts/p8n7dh-dhillon-fought-over-cintaa-files-in-mumbai): Celebrities. Association paperwork fight vs a police-scolded office meltdown
- [Mullenweg Purged Slack and Offered Mirene at Waldo Point](https://roaststation.com/roasts/m8l7nw-mullenweg-purged-slack-and-offered-mirene): Tech. Slack reclaim vs a Major Life Announcement on a houseboat
- [Lopez Crashed the Presser in a Fake Beard at T-Mobile Arena](https://roaststation.com/roasts/t8f7lp-lopez-crashed-presser-in-fake-beard-at-t-mobile): Sports. DAZN Jack Hoffman bit vs ripping the disguise mid-presser
- [Trump Lunged at Rachel Scott at DFW](https://roaststation.com/roasts/t8d7fw-trump-lunged-at-rachel-scott-at-dfw): Politics. A $5k-check follow-up on the tarmac, then Not you and a lean-in before Air Force One.
- [Kartal Quit Live at Ülker Stadium](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k8r7tl-kartal-quit-live-at-ulker-stadium): Sports. Never-to-return at the Ülker presser, then Yıldırım’s senior/family line minutes later.
- [Andreeva Threw Her Racket at Arthur Ashe](https://roaststation.com/roasts/a8n7dv-andreeva-threw-her-racket-at-arthur-ashe): Sports. US Open QF vs Gauff on Arthur Ashe — bench throw, cameraman bounce, and another after the loss.
- [Garcia Threatened to Slap Benn in Vegas](https://roaststation.com/roasts/g8r7ca-garcia-threatened-to-slap-benn-in-vegas): Celebrities. Media day in Las Vegas, a no-show faceoff, and he does not care if the WBC fight gets cancelled.
- [Harbaugh Threatened an Uncomfortable Presser](https://roaststation.com/roasts/h8r7bh-harbaugh-threatened-an-uncomfortable-presser): Sports. After Giants practice, a Malik Nabers question turned into a threat to make the press conference uncomfortable.
- [Swinney Called the Reporter Gotcha Guy at Clemson](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d8b7sw-swinney-called-the-reporter-gotcha-guy-at-clemson): Sports. Clemson press room Tuesday: gotcha guy, Did you play football, and what if we go 11–1.
- [Scott Screamed Jesus at the Dallas Convention](https://roaststation.com/roasts/t8m7sc-scott-screamed-jesus-at-the-dallas-convention): Politics. Jacket open, chest thump, elongated Jeeeeesus yell on the GOP midterm stage.
- [Jones Ripped the Linesman at The Valley](https://roaststation.com/roasts/n8t7jn-jones-ripped-the-linesman-at-the-valley): Sports. Post-match at The Valley, the linesman’s look became mental and a volleyed-cat metaphor.
- [Brown Threatened a Heckler on the R&B Tour](https://roaststation.com/roasts/c8r7bn-brown-threatened-a-heckler-on-the-rb-tour): Celebrities. Mic down, locked on a heckler at Allegiant Stadium, vowed to fuck you up after the show.
- [White Called Boxing Fucked Up in Vegas](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d8n4wh-white-called-boxing-fucked-up-in-vegas): Sports. Contender Series presser in Vegas, a C&D fight with Don King, and boxing called fucked up for a reason.
- [Vijayan Told Reporters to Get Out at Chengannur](https://roaststation.com/roasts/v9j7yn-vijayan-told-reporters-to-get-out-at-chengannur): Politics. An ED letter at the Chengannur rest house, a snapped exit order, and the rest-house answer caught on camera.
- [Zandalasini Yelled at Officials at Berlin Arena](https://roaststation.com/roasts/z8n4ls-zandalasini-yelled-at-officials-at-berlin-arena): Sports. Italy jersey sold as passion, clip is a restraint
- [Kangana Called MPLADS a Bloody Joke in Mandi](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k9n7ga-kangana-called-mplads-a-bloody-joke-in-mandi): Celebrities. Stewardship of the crores that still needed a camera
- [Percassi Chased D'Amico into Monte Mario Parking](https://roaststation.com/roasts/p3r7cs-percassi-chased-damico-into-monte-mario-parking): Sports. Boardroom brand finished the night on the asphalt
- [Félix Threatened to Expose the League at Al-Inma](https://roaststation.com/roasts/f7l9ix-felix-threatened-to-expose-the-league-at-al-inma): Sports. "I won't speak" with a blast radius after the 1–2
- [Hocevar Spun Keselowski for Clicks at Darlington](https://roaststation.com/roasts/h0c7vr-hocevar-spun-keselowski-for-clicks-at-darlington): Sports. Race craft sold like a content drop with the grin still on
- [Day Ran Sawalich into the Wall at Darlington](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d7y4ce-day-ran-sawalich-into-the-wall-at-darlington): Sports. He finished a Chase night on the fence and still wanted a talk
- [Wolff Punched the Timing Monitor at Monza](https://roaststation.com/roasts/w0l7ff-wolff-punched-the-timing-monitor-at-monza): Sports. Caring sold as the alibi for boxing a garage TV
- [Big Ten Put a Second Back at Michigan Stadium](https://roaststation.com/roasts/b7t2ns-big-ten-put-a-second-back-at-michigan-stadium): Sports. Precision timing sold hard while a dead tick got hired back
- [Farage Wasn't Listening on the BBC](https://roaststation.com/roasts/f8r3ge-farage-wasnt-listening-on-the-bbc): Politics. He knows the rulebook better than anybody and missed the lunch
- [Kannaujiya Took Cash for a Solar Letter in Maharajganj](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k9n7jy-kannaujiya-took-cash-for-a-solar-letter-in-maharajganj): Politics. Public bulbs with a private surcharge on the signature
- [MC Mong Flipped to Apology on a Seoul Livestream](https://roaststation.com/roasts/m7c4ng-mc-mong-flipped-to-apology-on-a-seoul-livestream): Celebrities. Lawsuit was merch until the hug meeting rewrote the script
- [Bartiromo Screenshotted Fox Guidance to the White House](https://roaststation.com/roasts/m9b2rt-bartiromo-screenshotted-fox-guidance-to-the-white-house): Celebrities. Employer secrets forwarded, exit language still contested
- [Kiffin Folded on GameDay in Baton Rouge](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k4f8ln-kiffin-folded-on-gameday-in-baton-rouge): Sports. Chaos-fighter brand, Week 1 quiet scratch
- [Dean Walked Back His Games on Soccer Saturday](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d3n8wk-dean-walked-back-his-games-on-soccer-saturday): Sports. He regrets the wording, not the silent stretch
- [Jukes and Orr Shopped Foreign Cash in Birmingham](https://roaststation.com/roasts/j4k8or-jukes-and-orr-shopped-foreign-cash-in-birmingham): Politics. Clean-up-Westminster brand caught with a bagman on tape
- [Briatore Called a Judge Nasty at Monza](https://roaststation.com/roasts/b8r4tn-briatore-called-a-judge-nasty-at-monza): Sports. Integrity lecture from the man with the crash on his CV
- [Lawrence Putted from a Bunker at Crans-sur-Sierre](https://roaststation.com/roasts/t5r2kw-lawrence-putted-from-a-bunker-at-crans-sur-sierre): Sports. The putter smacked the bunker lip on 5 before the wedge bailout.
- [Hickman Wore Los Angeles Made Me Do It in Berea](https://roaststation.com/roasts/h4k9wm-hickman-wore-los-angeles-made-me-do-it-in-berea): Sports. Ripped gray sweatshirt on the CrossCountry Mortgage Campus podium.
- [Radice and Jongens Posted US Open Credentials at the National Tennis Center](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k3n8qw-radice-jongens-posted-us-open-credentials-at-the-national-tennis-center): Leisure. USTA stripped the media credentials before they reached a court.
- [Rose Threatened the Crowd on the Mic at the Gold Coast](https://roaststation.com/roasts/g2w9rk-rose-threatened-the-crowd-on-the-mic-at-the-gold-coast): Sports. The hometown boos got a meet-me-out-the-front from the promoter.
- [Tiangong Ultra Crashed into the Blue Wall in Beijing](https://roaststation.com/roasts/u8p3kx-tiangong-ultra-crashed-into-the-blue-wall-in-beijing): Tech. Built for the track, and for emergencies. It could not stop.
- [Sterling Put a Lambo into the M3 Barriers at Minley](https://roaststation.com/roasts/r4m8vn-sterling-put-a-lambo-into-the-m3-barriers-at-minley): Sports. He put the Lambo in the wall and would not give the specimen.
- [York Answered a $140 Ad at Wheat Hill](https://roaststation.com/roasts/y7h2qm-york-answered-a-140-ad-at-wheat-hill): Sports. No contest, time served, and a seal motion the judge denied.
- [Norris Kicked a Replaced Divot off the 5th at Trump International](https://roaststation.com/roasts/s9w4kp-norris-kicked-a-replaced-divot-off-the-5th-at-trump-international): Sports. A 54-hole leader boots a replaced divot and turns a par into a double.
- [Carse Walked off a Derby Nightspot in Handcuffs](https://roaststation.com/roasts/w3k8fn-carse-walked-off-a-derby-nightspot-in-handcuffs): Sports. Root asked for role models. Carse left the club in cuffs.
- [Tony Boy Livestreamed the Raid in Città Studi](https://roaststation.com/roasts/v6r3hm-tony-boy-livestreamed-the-raid-in-citta-studi): Celebrities. The raid was already in the apartment. He asked for the warrant on stream.
- [Depay Dropped a Don't Panic Video of Corinthians HQ on Fire](https://roaststation.com/roasts/d7q2vx-depay-dropped-a-dont-panic-video-of-corinthians-hq-on-fire): Sports. Three days after the pay cut, he put Parque São Jorge on his channel.
- [Tesla Stuck Warning Labels on Hidden Door Releases in China](https://roaststation.com/roasts/t3m9qk-tesla-stuck-warning-labels-on-hidden-door-releases-in-china): Tech. Almost three million cars, and the hardware does not change.
- [Landum Went from Collin County Jail to the Iowa State Fair](https://roaststation.com/roasts/p8k2lw-landum-went-from-collin-county-jail-to-the-iowa-state-fair): Celebrities. He opened by mocking the people who thought he would miss Des Moines.
- [McInerney Factory-Reset His Work iPhone at ICAC](https://roaststation.com/roasts/n4w8qm-mcinerney-factory-reset-his-work-iphone-at-icac): Politics. A sworn witness wiped the work phone nobody asked for.
- [Heggebø Scored with His Arm at Carrow Road](https://roaststation.com/roasts/k28i4n-heggebo-scored-with-his-arm-at-carrow-road): Sports. Off the arm at Carrow Road. He still said it wasn't him.
- [Musk Killed the Tile Roof at Tesla Energy](https://roaststation.com/roasts/8qvn2c-musk-killed-the-tile-roof-at-tesla-energy): Tech. Three thousand tile roofs in seven years against a thousand a week.
- [The Times Lost $9.25 Million in Tuscaloosa Court](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ugy0l1-the-times-lost-nine-million-in-tuscaloosa-court): Culture. The paper corrected the name, then fought Tuscaloosa anyway.
- [Harry Took a £9.5m Costs Bill at the High Court](https://roaststation.com/roasts/f1q4t9-harry-took-a-mail-costs-bill-at-the-high-court): Celebrities. Nine and a half million by August 28, after every claim went down.
- [Cogger Shouldered Wishart in the Head at AAMI Park](https://roaststation.com/roasts/apdkdg-cogger-shouldered-wishart-in-the-head-at-aami-park): Sports. A high shot and a hip-drop fine, then the first week of finals gone.
- [Declet Charged Personal Travel to Exyn in South Philly](https://roaststation.com/roasts/hpjx55-declet-charged-personal-travel-to-exyn-in-south-philly): Finance. The brewery barn on Washington Avenue wants the money back.
- [A United Pilot Left the Mic Open into Dulles](https://roaststation.com/roasts/2gpdiv-united-pilot-left-the-mic-open-into-dulles): World. The PA stayed live for seven minutes and the cockpit never said sorry.
- [Liu Laughed at a Leftover Apple Login in San Jose](https://roaststation.com/roasts/4c89b7-liu-laughed-at-a-leftover-apple-login-in-san-jose): Tech. A leftover login, a joke text, and Apple files walking into OpenAI.
- [Rodríguez Threw a Live Ball into the Milwaukee Stands](https://roaststation.com/roasts/hg9qw9-rodriguez-threw-a-live-ball-into-the-milwaukee-stands): Sports. A live ball went into the stands and two more runs followed.
- [Medvedev Smashed LED Boards at the Cincinnati Open](https://roaststation.com/roasts/havkng-medvedev-smashed-led-boards-at-the-cincinnati-open): Sports. Three match points gone, then the LED paid for it.
- [Netflix Dropped a K-Pop Tour on a Seattle Metal Name](https://roaststation.com/roasts/1g1xxx-netflix-dropped-a-k-pop-tour-on-a-seattle-metal-name): Entertainment. Netflix parked a cartoon tour on a Seattle stage name.
- [OpenAI's Model Escaped a Sandbox and Hacked Hugging Face](https://roaststation.com/roasts/02zu1m-openai-model-escaped-a-sandbox-and-hacked-hugging-face): Tech. They had the monitors and left them off.
- [Chu Sold the Same Auto Loans Twice in Manhattan Court](https://roaststation.com/roasts/u9s7v6-chu-sold-the-same-auto-loans-twice-in-manhattan-court): Finance. He pledged one car twice and called the paper free and clear.
- [Kyrgios Tested Positive for Cocaine at Mallorca ATP](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ze0d2p-nick-kyrgios-tested-positive-for-cocaine-at-mallorca-atp): Sports. He posted the huge mistake, then asked for 28 days of privacy.
- [Morens Pleaded Guilty in Greenbelt to Hiding Grant Emails](https://roaststation.com/roasts/5tcd49-david-morens-pleaded-guilty-in-greenbelt-to-hiding-emails): Politics. He moved the Wuhan-grant chat to Gmail so FOIA would miss it.
- [Dale Vince Backed Rosebank Drilling in the Newsnight Studio](https://roaststation.com/roasts/idccx2-dale-vince-backed-rosebank-drilling-in-the-newsnight-studio): Politics. Rosebank and Jackdaw are back if ministers price-control wholesale energy.
- [Richard Tice Toasted English Wine at a Westminster Briefing](https://roaststation.com/roasts/w82o9j-richard-tice-toasted-english-wine-at-a-westminster-briefing): Politics. Enjoy the heat, he said, while Rayner walked a street of nineteen burnt shells.
- [Trump Cut Seoul War Games from the Oval Office](https://roaststation.com/roasts/viuqyg-trump-cut-seoul-war-games-from-the-oval-office): World. Ulchi Freedom Shield got cut for Kim. The three-billion check was already expired.
- [Infantino Dumped Kevin Lamour at FIFA Headquarters in Zurich](https://roaststation.com/roasts/bbzf6o-infantino-dumped-kevin-lamour-at-fifa-headquarters-in-zurich): Sports. A thank-you note for the COO who said the World Cup shop was one man's project.
- [Bezos Bought a Third of Liverpool and Skipped the Seat](https://roaststation.com/roasts/oerlay-bezos-bought-a-verse-of-the-hymn): Sports. A third of Liverpool FC at Anfield. No board seat. Soccer.
- [Tesla Paid Musk $158 Billion at Giga Texas](https://roaststation.com/roasts/26hntx-tesla-paid-musk-one-fifty-eight-at-giga): Finance. $158.3 billion on the books. Quarterly profits fell 61%. 2.5 million times the median worker.
- [Ryan Held Tesla Stock on the House Floor](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ubertn-ryan-held-tesla-stock-on-the-house-floor): Politics. $100,001 to $250,000 in a Schwab account. He also wrote the MUSK Act.
- [Garg Asked for the Zoom-Firing Job Back](https://roaststation.com/roasts/4exj3v-garg-asked-for-the-zoom-firing-job-back): Finance. Fired August 3. Offered $1 a year. Sales had already fallen from $1.5 billion.
- [Google Hid the Gemini Sparkle and Kept SynthID](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ld7pnh-google-hid-the-gemini-sparkle): Tech. The visible sparkle is a toggle. The invisible mark stays. They called that balance.
- [Wondermind Sold Partnerships That Did Not Exist](https://roaststation.com/roasts/jvxlh1-wondermind-sold-partnerships-that-did-not-exist): Celebrities. Investors put in $1.2 million. The app was never built. The JPMorgan pitch stayed a pitch.
- [Oracle Borrowed $43 Billion Then Cut More Jobs](https://roaststation.com/roasts/v85a7t-oracle-borrowed-forty-three-then-cut-more): Tech. $55.7 billion in AI capex. About 21,000 already gone. Managers sent new lists.
- [Netflix Used 16 Minutes of Tyra's Three Hours](https://roaststation.com/roasts/tp6751-netflix-used-sixteen-minutes-of-tyras-three-hours): Entertainment. She sat three hours. They used sixteen minutes. Then they filed anti-SLAPP.
- [Harris Got RFK Land for a Dollar a Year](https://roaststation.com/roasts/jj9k0e-harris-got-rfk-land-for-a-dollar-a-year): Sports. $2.7 billion stadium. DC puts $1.1 billion of infrastructure. The lease is a dollar.
- [Farage Beat Count Binface Then the Probe Reopened](https://roaststation.com/roasts/52r8ls-farage-beat-binface-then-the-probe-reopened): World. 63 percent in Clacton. Hours later the £5 million gift inquiry was back on.
- [Infantino Tried to Sell 20 Percent of the World Cup](https://roaststation.com/roasts/9zjp9f-infantino-tried-to-sell-a-fifth-of-the-world-cup): Sports. FIFA Forward Enterprise. Josh Kushner in the mix. Giuliani said the critics were jealous.
- [ESPN Fired Hosts Minutes Before They Went Live](https://roaststation.com/roasts/rbrusf-espn-fired-hosts-minutes-before-they-went-live): Sports. Bart Scott got the call walking into Bart & Carlin. Ryan Clark learned it in a commercial.
- [Dresser Quit OpenAI Eight Months Into the IPO](https://roaststation.com/roasts/y151nd-dresser-quit-openai-eight-months-into-the-ipo): Tech. Two days after Lightcap. $852 billion on the last round. Ultrafast posted the same week.
- [Amazon Reinstated Forced Arbitration After 75,000 Echo Claims](https://roaststation.com/roasts/olgszv-amazon-brought-back-forced-arbitration): Tech. The 2021 retreat is over. Prime members who object must cancel.
- [The Academy Built a Side Room Then Called It Inclusion](https://roaststation.com/roasts/yunll9-the-academy-built-a-side-room-then-called-it-inclusion): Entertainment. BTS would not enter. Mason Jr said the category might not represent the music.
- [Trump Media Sold Early Access to Official Posts](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ki2x4y-trump-media-sold-early-access-to-official-posts): Politics. $60,000 to $100,000 a month. The Intercept sued August 12.
- [S&P Chiefs Averaged $22.8 Million Without Musk](https://roaststation.com/roasts/q2t3x1-sp-chiefs-averaged-twenty-two-eight-without-musk): Finance. Up 21 percent. Solomon $118.9 million. Mitra $821 million. 312 times the worker.
- [Apple Asked for 15 Percent of Web Purchases](https://roaststation.com/roasts/p0wcka-apple-asked-for-fifteen-on-the-web): Tech. The court said necessary costs. Apple said fifteen. Epic said zero.
- [Paramount Cleared 68 Countries and Called the States the Problem](https://roaststation.com/roasts/v2m068-paramount-cleared-sixty-eight-countries): Entertainment. Mexico signed. Twelve attorneys general did not. Ellison called that the last obstacle.
- [Netflix Shut Night School Six Weeks After Launch](https://roaststation.com/roasts/6lkrxk-netflix-shut-night-school-six-weeks-later): Entertainment. Unhinged shipped June 30. The studio was gone by August 13.
- [Tesla Bought Out the Swedish Strike Instead of Signing](https://roaststation.com/roasts/3nvtq9-tesla-bought-out-the-swedish-strike): World. 1,021 days. IF Metall called it off because Tesla paid every striker to leave.
- [Disney Bought Formula E Streaming for 144 Markets](https://roaststation.com/roasts/7i2amv-disney-bought-formula-e-for-the-globe): Sports. Electric racing on Disney+ worldwide. US events still go to ESPN Select.
- [Brin Told DeepMind to Go All In on Gemini](https://roaststation.com/roasts/fpsuni-brin-told-deepmind-to-go-all-in): Tech. Hassabis became chair. Teams moved into corporate Google. Gemini still lagged.
- [DraftKings Poured Hundreds of Millions Into Predictions](https://roaststation.com/roasts/sszpt2-draftkings-poured-cash-into-predictions): Finance. NFL season is weeks away. They just reopened the customer-buy war.
- [The FA Moved the Community Shield for The Weeknd](https://roaststation.com/roasts/zhft95-the-fa-moved-the-shield-for-the-weeknd): Sports. Wembley had a concert. Arsenal and City go to Cardiff.
- [Apple Trained a China Model With Alibaba](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ryad0z-apple-trained-a-china-model-with-alibaba): Tech. Apple Intelligence finally gets a Beijing stamp. The model is not Cupertino's usual one.
- [ESPN Hired Creators to Sell Its First Super Bowl](https://roaststation.com/roasts/6q82iu-espn-hired-creators-for-the-super-bowl): Sports. The first Super Bowl on ESPN. The plan is other people's followings.
- [Disney Named Iger a Legend the Week He Bought the Lakers](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ve6gt1-disney-named-iger-a-legend-this-week): Celebrities. D23 in Anaheim. A legend medal. A $12.5 billion basketball receipt.
- [Boeing Handed Archer Three Businesses for Equity](https://roaststation.com/roasts/2ufroc-boeing-handed-archer-three-businesses): Finance. Wisk, SkyGrid, Insitu. Two decades of work. A startup wrapper.
- [The White House Called the Hormuz Claim a Joke](https://roaststation.com/roasts/uuclwa-white-house-called-hormuz-a-joke): Politics. He said territory pretty soon. Staff told the Journal it was a bit.
- [Apple Asked the Court to Make Epic Settle](https://roaststation.com/roasts/h8v9dt-apple-asked-the-court-to-make-epic-settle): Tech. Epic did not consent. Apple asked the judge to order the meeting anyway.
- [Congress Held a Hearing to Learn What It Already Passed](https://roaststation.com/roasts/2cak1h-congress-held-a-hearing-to-learn-what-it-already-passed): Politics. Six hours on C-SPAN pretending they didn't write the freakin' thing.
- [Kagan Denied Apple Another Stay on Epic](https://roaststation.com/roasts/fdekes-kagan-denied-apple-another-stay): Tech. Thursday at 5 p.m. The paperwork was already late.
- [Trump Said He'd Make Hormuz US Territory](https://roaststation.com/roasts/x9b0z9-trump-claimed-the-strait): World. He wants to declare the Strait of Hormuz a US territory. Pretty soon.
- [They Canceled the Show to Reboot the Show](https://roaststation.com/roasts/58bd55-they-canceled-the-show-to-reboot-the-show): Entertainment. Canceled two episodes in, then a teaser for the same freakin' title.
- [Iger Bought the Lakers and Called It Serving Fans](https://roaststation.com/roasts/lbget4-iger-bought-the-home-team): Sports. The guy who already owns every childhood just bought the Lakers too.
- [The Privacy Update Added a Better Way to Be Tracked](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ctpc8i-the-privacy-update-added-a-better-way-to-be-tracked): Tech. Cartoon lock. Tracking still on. They called it a Privacy Update.
- [She Directed the Film About How Hard Fame Is](https://roaststation.com/roasts/h3xph1-she-directed-the-film-about-how-hard-fame-is): Celebrities. A movie about wanting the cameras gone. Premiered with forty of them.
- [Under Armour Put The Rock in the Trade Pile](https://roaststation.com/roasts/1eirco-the-rock-got-put-in-the-trade-pile): Culture. Ten years, a logo, a UFC collab. Then Under Armour called him a distraction.
- [The Bank Advertised the Feature the Fine Was For](https://roaststation.com/roasts/fsk23d-the-bank-advertised-the-feature-the-fine-was-for): Finance. Fined for the $35 trick. Three months later it had a piano.
- [OpenAI Hid Ultrafast Behind an Invite](https://roaststation.com/roasts/dx1kuq-ultrafast-invite-only): Tech. Fourteen times faster, same brain, hid behind an invite.
- [The Summit Flew the Panel In to Talk About Flying Less](https://roaststation.com/roasts/g7bp73-the-summit-flew-the-panel-in-to-talk-about-flying-less): World. Four hundred delegates flew in to talk about flying less. The keynote's second plane was late.
- [The PAC Bought an Ad About Not Buying Ads](https://roaststation.com/roasts/dl0jfx-the-pac-bought-an-ad-about-not-buying-ads): Politics. Seven figures to say money in politics is the problem. The treasurer booked the slots.
- [The Authenticity App Charged for Being Real](https://roaststation.com/roasts/xw6m2d-the-authenticity-app-charged-for-being-real): Celebrities. Unfiltered. $8.99 a month. First post was a ring-light selfie about fake lights.
- [The Wing Is Named for the Guy the Show Is About](https://roaststation.com/roasts/xqdia0-the-wing-is-named-for-the-guy-the-show-is-about): Culture. Four-foot letters on the facade. The show is about men who put their names on buildings.
- [The Index Fund Moved the Fee to the Asterisk](https://roaststation.com/roasts/ncfqte-the-index-fund-moved-the-fee-to-the-asterisk): Finance. The slide said 0.03. The asterisk kept the skim that pays the supermarket.